Love Language #3 - Acts of Service

In our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group we are going to have a meeting where speakers will discuss the 5 love languages as written by Dr. Gary Chapman.

I have read The 5 Love Languages and so has my DH. We read it MONTHS ago. But we have never discussed it. I've never asked him what he thinks is my love language, or what he feels is his.

Just a quick run down - you really should read this book if you haven't already!

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

I think we all need a little of all of the love languages.

My primary language is Acts of Service. My DH's primary language (I think) is physical touch.

For me - Acts of Service include, but are not limited to, the following:

Doing Dishes
Doing Laundry
Changing my Oil
Putting Gas in my Car
Putting Air in my Tires
Picking up the Living Room
Brushing my hair
Rubbing my back
Rubbing my feet
Taking the Trash out
Cooking a Meal
Playing/Interacting with the children so they forget about Mom for a few minutes
Cleaning my fishtanks
Dusting
Getting Rid of Cobwebs
Etc.

Here is the problem. I'm a SAHM - as I have previously stated. My DH's work schedule requires him to work from appx. 4:00 a.m. to appx. 6:00 p.m. - sometimes later - sometimes overnight.

This means that the responsibility of children, homework, meals, dogs, discipline, bill paying, bathtime, bedtime, laundry, car maintenance - well everything - falls on me.

When DH IS home I don't feel it's fair that I ask him to do - well - anything. Because when he comes home he is usually cutting firewood. If he has ANY free time - he spends it hunting or preparing for hunting. That's his relaxation.

Which explains why our relationship is usually at an impasse. He doesn't have any energy or desire to do what I need to fill my tank, aka the Acts of Service mentioned above.

When my tank is empty - which it usually is - I don't feel like touching him or feeling physical in any way. Which then makes HIS tank empty. And the vicious cycle goes on and on.....

The question is - how to break it? How to fill up each other's tank.

I would venture to say the first step is just confirming that my guess about his primary language is true.

We better hurry - Valentines Day is around the corner!

To Go from Chore.....To Choice

The title of this blog came from the sermon I heard at church today. That statement reached out and smacked me in the face.

This statement needs to be applied to my life in both spiritual, emotional, and physical ways.

There are so many things in my life that I view as a chore. Cleaning, bathtime, bedtime, getting up and getting DD up for school, paying bills, reading to my kids, laundry, sex, feeding my fish, I mean, I could fill an entire page of because most of time what I am doing feels like a chore.

This week I am going to use the scripture references from the sermon to find a way to make these things go from a chore to a choice. These things, plus bible reading and prayer journal time.

I'm not sure how long that takes.....but the important thing is I'm starting it.....today.

Good bye 09

So here it is....the last day of 2009. A day full to the brim of bright expectations of the year yet to come.

Of course, tomorrow harsh reality will settle in. Some of us will be hungover. Some of us will wonder who we are waking up beside.

Some of us (aka me) will wake up just like any other day. Stumble to the bathroom, then stumble to the kitchen to run the water for my oh-so-needed coffee. Then while the coffe is brewing I will pull away hands that are tugging at my shirt, begging for cereal, or more likely pickles.

I'll breathe a deep sigh and smile - grateful that I have these small pests blessings.

After finishing up my coffee and breaking up several fights I'll start a load of laundry and unload the dishwasher. All of the previous nights feelings of hope now washed away by the daily ugly grind.

Sigh.....

But tonight - I'll not think about that. Tonight I'll think about all of the fantastic, amazing, wonderful things that are going to happen to me and my family and friends in the year 2010.

I'll think about those wonderful things - and sip some moonshine. Cause that's how I roll.

Tithing in 2010

I'm not even sure I spelled that right. But it's an issue that's been on my mind. According to legend (ehem) and to some according to God via the bible we are supposed to tithe 10%.

Now - no one is really sure if that means 10% of money - or 10% of time + money or what the exact combination is.

So I decided to try to figure out if we could afford 10% of straight money.

It's a good possibility that with some going without luxeries...we could.

Is that what God intended? Then what about the time I donate to the church - is that just bonus?

Then I felt guilty about giving less than 10%...

I just don't know where to stand on this one....

Is Santa to be....or not to be......THAT is the question.

Today at playdate an interesting topic came up. There were 4 of us moms there. Two of them had decided to tell their children from the get go that Santa does not exist. Two others (one being myself) felt that it was important that our children believe in Santa.

This was brought to light by a post a member of our church had put on facebook. I haven't read that post, but the way it was explained to me was that this mom didn't want her child believing in Santa because when she grew up a bit and found out that truth that she would think her parents lied to her not only about Santa, but our Jesus Christ, and God.

WOW!!!! What a presumption. I was raised in a fairly "religious" home. Both of my granndfathers - my mom's dad and my dad's dad, were pastors up to their deaths. We were raised in church. I cut my teeth on the back of the church pews. Yet it was never a concern about if we should believe in Santa or not.

We were taught from day 1 about the true meaning of the season. The birth of Jesus. The glorious miracle that took place a long time ago. Never once in my mind did I think that Santa had anything to do with the birth of Christ. When I determined that Santa wasn't real, I NEVER thought that made Jesus not real. Same with the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy.

I have another friend who was, for a long time, a single mom. She chose to tell her kids that Santa was fake because she wanted her kids to know that SHE was responsible for the presents, not some jolly old elf. That logic I can understand.

But why can't kids have some magic when they are young? Why do we have to confront them with life's harsh realities at such a young age? I have yet to meet someone that said "Ya know, my life would be sooooo much better if my parents hadn't let me believe in Santa for a few years."

I know that everyone has to make a decision for their family that they feel is right. And it is only correct that I respect their decisions and do not judge them for it. Lord knows I don't need anyone judging me for mine.

So I can tell what time...

of the month it is. I'm not going to go into TMI. But today, while driving to DD's christmas party, Little Drummer Boy came on the radio. I started crying while listening...just imaging what I would do in his place.

Sigh....I hate being a crybaby....

New Years Resolutions

I already have my New Years Resolution. I only ever make one. Usually it's about weight loss.

For the first time in a long time, I'm not going to start my year off thinking about my weight and what I didn't lose last year.

I've always believed that what you say can eventually become reality. That is, if you say it often enough.

So this year, I vow to stop saying that I don't keep a clean house. I vow in the year 2010 that I will say outloud that my house is in order, and everything is in it's place.

I vow that I will write in my prayer journal that I get assistance in keeping an orderly house.

I've already begun this year by making my bed every day. You wouldn't believe what a big difference that makes.

If anyone is reading this, have you thought about your New Years Resolutions? What are they?