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The quality or state of being selfish; exclusive regard to one's own interest or happiness; that supreme self-love or self-preference which leads a person to direct his purposes to the advancement of his own interest, power, or happiness, without regarding those of others.
Hmmmm....
I think I'm being selfish. After taking care of my boisterous 3 year old for 7 hours, then adding my 5 year old.
DH decides to go hunt for awhile. I tell him to go ahead. He doesn't often do things that aren't making or saving him money. He needs a little time out.
So now I'm going on 10 hours of sole kid responsiblity.
My heart sings when I hear DH talking on the phone on the porch. He is, at long last, home from hunting. I can take off my mom hat and put on the sign that says "GO ASK YOUR DAD."
DH comes in the house and starts taking off his hunting clothes. Tells me he needs to go work on our Belair. Asks me if I will handle the no scent washing that needs to be done to his clothes. Puts all the camo in a nice pile in the middle of my living room floor. Gets dressed in street clothes. Tells me to turn on my phone and he will text me pictures of the car.
I ask what time he will be leaving for the Hunter Safety Course tomorrow. He said he would find out and let me know, but probably first thing in the morning. He wants to take our Godson to breakfast before class.
So after all my waking hours are spent
But I do have a light at the end of my tunnel. I have book club tomorrow. I can leave at 5. If he's home from class by then.
I hate that I selfishly want him home so he can shoulder some of the kid burden. I mean, he works 50 hours in 4 days. Then works all day today on his mom's heating ditches for her new house and outdoor woodburner. He'll spend tomorrow at a Hunter Safety Course with our Godson. While I do grocery shopping with my children.
He'll spend Sunday cutting wood for my Grandma. While I'm at church.
Then we will go to life group together.
Then Monday he'll go to work and come home around 5 - leave for dog class around 6 - be home around 9 after kids are in bed.
He'll leave Tuesday morning around 3 am for out of state. Come home after I'm in bed Tuesday night. Go in to work 7 or so on Wednesday, hopefully be home so I can do my coupon shopping Wednesday night.
That's my night out. I am killing two birds with one stone. Well more than two birds. I'm shopping for my family. I am saving money by using coupons. I am having fun with JJ.
He'll be in bed when I get home because he needs to be up again at 3 a.m. to leave the state again. He'll be home Thursday night after I'm in bed. Friday he will either do more work for his mom at her new place, or cut wood. Saturday he'll either work on the car, or cut wood. Sunday he will cut wood. He sells it ya know.
And I feel guilty asking for an evening of not wearing the only parent hat. I am leaving for 4 days in a few weeks. He will be the only one wearing that hat. Unless his mom comes and stays. He hasn't said if she was or not.
I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Having a down day when I wish I was still on antidepressants. This weather doens't help.
I feel like Eyeore on Winnie the Pooh. Blah. I hate it.
Tomorrow will be better, I know it.
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