Ok, I admit it, I'm a bitch....

And yesterday, I was a really really big one.

So I come home from work (after going to the grocery store for my MIL - brownie points) and look at the clock. It's now 4:40 and we have to be at my MIL's by 5:30. I tell this to my DH.

His words were "Yeah, Yeah, I know, but I have to figure out what's wrong on my dump truck"

Me: "Why, are you using it tonight?"

Him: "Well, no, but I HAVE TO KNOW"

Me: Whatever, just hurry up"

So at 5:35 I get a call from my MIL to tell me that they are starting to eat without us. (We are celebrating my demon nephew's birthday).

So I bundle up my kids, get their coats on and open the front door. See the guy that came over to check out what was wrong on the dump truck is afraid of my Rottie. He loves my Pitt, but he's afraid of my Rottie. So I knew he would leave if she was outside.

Man I'm a cold bitch. But it worked.

That's my first instance of being a bitch.

Then we get up to my MIL and I see that my BIL and SIL parked in the carport.

WTF? Their kids are old enough to walk themselves. I have to carry 2 kids, plus diaper bag, plus groceries. Do they fucking care??? NO.....

So I walk in pissed.

Then I'm carrying the kids and stuff in, and did anyone offer to help???


NOOOOOO...my DH was still down home playing with his dump truck, and I'm carting all this stuff - plus kids - in with NO HELP.

Fuck em. Now I'm getting irritated.

So we get in and it's time to eat, we say our prayer, and get the kids seated.

Here is where my temper starts to boil. The birthday boy turned 5 yesterday (but he couldn't tell us how old he was, but that's another post). He is sitting in the FUCKING BABY CHAIR. Ok, irritation number one. I have a FUCKING BABY who is too big for a high chair, and needs to sit in the BABY CHAIR. But it's his birthday, so he gets what he wants. Then we are dishing out dishes. The birthday boy gets the only small plastic plate (USUSALLY RESERVED FOR THE BABY) and the only baby fork. My ACTUAL BABY got a glass plate and a grown up fork (which I switched to a spoon)

I, being catty, said...well this is pretty screwed up, the baby eating off of glass while the 5 year old eating off plastic. I was told, very frostily from my SIL...

Oh well, he got it first, that's the one he wanted.

Oh my gosh - so that means in order to appease him we get to take the chance of a glass plate breaking??? That's WONDERFUL.

Ugghhhh....I give up. They will never think like rational humans. They are incapable of a complete and coherent adult thought. Why I keep hoping is beyond me.

Random Thought

I don't really have an exciting topic to blog about today. My mind is scattered this week.

But I did have an epiphany. A few of my work collegues were discussing the gas prices. The other girl here said we were going to have to start showing our legs and hitchhiking to work.

I said, No, then I'd have to shave my legs every day. I'd rather just show my tits.


Hmmmmmm, wonder what they think of me now?

Because I'm Lazy

Born in: Canton, Ohio

Raised in: Various Cities, Ohio

Planned baby: If you count sex at a church weiner roast, then yes

Birth date: April 24

Youngest or oldest: oldest

Hair length: Which hair???

Eye color: Blue

Mood: tired

Height: 5'5"

Lefty/Righty: righty

LOVE LIFE:

Do you remember your first real relationship? With anger

Shortest relationship: Do one night stands count?

Have you ever been heartbroken? yes

Have you ever fallen for a friend? yes i have............

Are you afraid of commitment? Only to mortgages...

Do you believe in love at first sight? Lust yes, love, no


THIS OR THAT:

Love or money: This time I married for Love, next time it's for money

One night stands or relationships: One night stands

TV or internet: Both, at the same time (I'm such a tramp)

Pepsi or coke: Diet please

Wild night out or romantic night in: what's romance?

Phone or in person: Sex

HAVE YOU EVER:

Have you ever been caught having sex?: Yup!! Lotsa times

Have you ever skinny dipped?: Yup

Have you ever finished a novel in a day? Yep

Have you ever been streaking? Yep - it was an initiation rite for a group I belong to

Have you ever fallen in public? Yep, while carrying my child in her carseat....and no one offered to help, or to see if me or my baby was ok.


ARE YOU:

Are you a silly person?: Nope, always straighlaced

Are your parents still married? Nope


OTHER:

How do you dress? I prefer to wear sexy nighties, but the people at Walmart look at me funny

Are you scared of growing up old and alone? One can only dream.....

What to talk about???

So I don't know what to talk about today.

The beads that have GHB? (Good thing they weren't anal)

That I'm having a bonding day tomorrow with my mom and my sisters? (Pedicures, Sushi, Hair Styleing Galore)

That I'm going to have my sister take a picture of my breasts so that I can remember when they were perky? (Ok, they are only perky when they are in a bra, so they will be in a bra in the picture)

That I really need to focus on losing weight, you know, not eat whatever the hell I want? (I can say that when I'm not hungry, ask me again in a few hours and Satan will growl "I'll eat whatever the hell I want" from somewhere deep inside me.)

That I found grey hairs this morning? (I think they are blonde, but no one else does)

That I look great today, and no one has noticed? (Umm, hello assholes, a little bit of compliments goes a long way)

That all the guys here reassure me that I'll look like shit for dyeing my hair dark? (Fuck them, I don't care. I want something DIFFERENT, and I was told I'd lose my job if I pierced my nose. Now piercing my tongue is ok....guess my boss is still hoping for a below desk blow job)

That I need someone to tell me how to post pictures to my profile, and to the blog, because I'm HTML/Blogger/Internet retarded? ('Nuff said)