I'm back at square one

So my house has gone to the dogs in the last few days. I haven't been able to do much because my babies both ran high fevers for two days and just wanted mommy to hold them, and get drinks for them...plus I was EXHAUSTED.

No one else picked up the slack (as if). So everything just piled up. But no worries. DH told me that while he was on layoff HE was going to get our bedroom cleaned up and organized.

Yeah right.

Just like he wouldn't wait 6 months to install my ice and water on my fridge and it's been now.....5 months....He has one month to go.

Whatever. He talks a lot of crap. I think he lives in his own little world where he is the perfect father and husband simply because he works himself to the bone.

I need more. I guess I'm selfish.

What % do u give, and I'm not talking about Christmas gifts.

Today was Storytime at the Library. I look forward to this because I want my little man and my Princess to love books as much as I do. But I also love the interaction with the other moms at the McDonalds afterwards.

Today I was complaining about DH. Well, not really complaining just discussing that I gave in a agreed to not nap, and to clean at least 7 hours of the day.

But I wasn't very gracious about it. I was trying to be positive, but it was difficult.

One of the moms asked me if I feel that I give 100%. Because DH gives more than 100% to provide for us.

I really thought about it.

I don't.

I'm not sure why. I guess because my definition of 100% is going non stop and cleaning and organizing and having my home look like Liza's.

But I don't know that I have it in me to give 100%. I can only do so much, and then I get burnt out. And as one of the moms pointed out, eventually the energy drinks won't work anymore.

I don't know what to do.

How do I give 100%? I can never get a clear answer from anyone on how they do it?

I'm trying to get at least one room a day completely organized and cleaned, while still keeping up the living room and the kitchen. Which that takes a TON of energy.

I just don't understand how everyone else does it.

This is a venting post - prepare yourself for some major complaining

I am SUPER mad right now. DH and I just had a major fight because he came home and I was napping. Now I've said before...I love to sleep. It's one of my favorite pastimes.

I asked him what he needed to see done when he got home in order to make him happy. He said have the dishes done and living room clean. I did that, plus laundry, plus bathed kids and sorted and organized and got rid of a lot of clutter.

But does that matter NOOOOO.

He finally came clean. His mother and other SAHM's DO NOT SLEEP. So napping is unacceptable to him. What is acceptable is cleaning for 7+ hours a day. According to him, there is always something to do, so I should be up doing it. With a smile, and have dinner ready for him, and perform my wifely duties.

I AM SO BEYOND PISSED.

But what can I do? I want to stay home with my kids. My only other option is to go work. Do what he wants, or go to work.

I have to go, my kids are asking for me to beat them.

Still Adjusting

So I'm still adjusting to my hopefully temporary Stay At Home Mom status. However I did have a run in with some beans for the bean bag. Here are some pics...

Ntoice the little white things on the floor and the stuff everywhere. That's because I had to move my furniture to to get the busted bag of little white balls. My children had "accidentaly" busted the bag when trying to retrieve a ball. So I had to shovel, literally, little white balls into a trash bag and then sweep.

Here's another pic of the destruction....

So after several hours, one meal, breaking up several fights, an hour talk with my very much missed Auntie CH....I finally got the floor to look like this:

I just don't know

So this morning was library/story day and McDonalds with the other SAHM's. This is such a difficult adjustment. We just got home and I put the kids down for a nap and I don't know what to do with myself. There is so much housework that it's overwhelming and I'm not sure where to start. Plus part of me just wants to veg while the kids aren't up my backside. I just don't know what to do.

I know I need to make a list of projects and I need to set forth a scheudle for myself. It's wonderful having other SAHM's that are giving me ideas of things to do, however they have all been doing this awhile and have their days scheduled and planned and their houses are perfectly clean and.....can you tell I feel inadequate. My self worth is very low right now, and I'm not sure how to raise it back up, short of landing another job. Which I don't know to do until I have to.

Anyone want to give me an example of their day so that I can take ideas to model my own?

Thanks