There should be no guilt in feeling sexy.

There, I've said it. Outloud. In front of everyone. Well, not everyone because I think only two people read my blog. But still.

Recently I've been caught up in being an "ideal" mom. Being an "ideal" wife. I've been dressing appropriatly for all occastions. Choosing outfits that don't show my cleavage or modifying ones that do. Not wearing anything super short. Letting my hair grown back to it's natural color.

Ok - I'm going to talk about sex. Stop reading if you feel it would be TMI. I'm giving you fair warning. I don't want anyone coming up to me and saying - "I can't believe you wrote that. I'm very disgusted" If you are easily disgusted stop reading now.

My sex life has had many peaks and valleys throughout the course of my marriage. My sex life has been at its best when I felt sexy. When I was doing HNT. When I was hearing others, not just my husband, tell me I looked hot. That made our sex life crazy!! Off the hook! My going after him agressivly every single day! We were happy, horny and satisfied with life.

Then my guilt kicked in. Comments from other mothers and wives about the inappropriatness of it. Guilt from the pulpit. So I tried to carry that on without - sigh - without feeling sexy.

Why does it take all that to make me feel sexy? DH is away a lot during the week. When he gets home, he is tired. Doesn't really have the energy to make me feel sexy. The sexiest comment I get from him recently is "Are you going to service me tonight?" Yeah, that's a huge libido killer right there.

My idenity as a women gets lost. It's nice to have reminders that even though I'm a bit heavy - even though I'm not the best house cleaner - I'm still a sexy woman.

Am I the only woman that needs to feel sexy? I mean, what's so wrong with that? Is there something I should be, besides write sexy posts and take HNT pics? Should I start doing my other blog again? Or am I crossing another moral boundry?