A wild update appears......

Is it bizarre that I post so randomly on here? Yes, it probably is, but since this blog is mostly for my own venting purposes it will be fine.

As I type this my children drive their toys over my sorted laundry in the hall and my husband yells to me from the back of the house "Honey, have you seen my bow? You know, my old one that I don't really use anymore." Right, like I was the one to use his deer hunting bow last. Give me a little credit, I would have used the newer one.

Anyhow, over a month ago my husband and I started on a weight loss/get healthy journey. We are loosely using the "17 day diet by Mike Moreno. We stuck with it hardcore for the first 17 day cycle, but have modified it to fit our lifestyle. Doing so has allowed DH to lose over 30 lbs and I've lost over 15 lbs.

Woo hooo!!! This is HUGE for me. I'm on track to feeling healthier and more involved in life and I'm doing it WITHOUT MEDICATION!

Ok, that being said I wanted a place I could rate recipes that I make and until I find a better site to do so, this is it. So be prepared form some recipe sharing going on......

Do it again and die bitch!!

So last night I went back to hell Zumba class.

The class is 2 nights a week, and hopefully it will help me to get rid of some of these fat rolls extra inches.

About 1 minute into the first routine my body said "Wait a minute...I remember this, and this is bullshit. I told you - do it again and die bitch!!"

So I died last night. Yep, I'm writing to you from heaven. It's nice up here. Everyone is fat, and you get to eat all the chocolate you want, and have sex with whomever you want....and various other pleasures.

Oh wait, that was just my fantasy last night. Ok, back to hell Zumba.

I really hate my teacher. She's really perky, but she looks really stupid doing the moves. But then again, so do I, and the majority of the class.

And so help me, if one more skinny bitch joins our class I'm going to throw myself on the ground and have a hissy fit. I mean, give me a break!! Go lift weights or something to tone. Stop crowding in with the chubby people!!

Can't until class tomorrow!

I almost threw up in class

Last night was my first night in hell doing a Zumba class.

First of all, I was the biggest girl in the class. Everyone there (except for my peeps) had their hair perfectly coiffed and make up applied precisely.

I was wearing a bleach stained pair of too big lounging pants and an oversized t-shirt.

Everyone else had their cutesy little work out outfits on.

Then the class started and I realized a way to encourage myself to not eat: put mirrors up everywhere.

Honestly, I think I've gotten as heavy as I have because I don't really look at myself in the mirror. I mean, I see myself thorugh rose colored glasses, I guess.

But that mirror in the class....wooo weee....it shows every single imperfection on you.

But me and my peeps...ok, not all of my peeps, but most of us....we were the only ones with rythem.....everyone else was hopeless...

OMG, lets just say that muscles that I haven't felt in years were aching last night.

If I don't lose some inches by the end of this six week class, then I'm hopeless.

But on the plus side, I've lost, and kept off for a week 4 lbs.

That's major encouragement to me. I'll keep plowing along. Also, I'm going to post of my other site today.

Wait a minute....

Yesterday, after work, I was attempting to feed my children some eggplant casserole with spagetti.

My daughter eats her noodles - sans sauce - and declares herself full. My son is picking at his.

So my daughter commences to tormenting him. Slaps and kicks ensue. I'm playing referee, and yelling. Finnaly, after my son (who is 20 months old - remember) head butts his sister.

Now I know, I should have put them in time out at the first hit. But I was trying to eat as well, I was just trying to get them to calm down and leave each other alone.

Ok, so I immediately order them to time out. The boy in the hall, the girl in the living room, facing the wall.

The girl is talking to herself, and then I hear her say.....WAIT A MINUTE!!! Mom, why am I in time out??? I didn't hit my brother, he hit me with his head!!! I'm not supposed to be in time out.

She said this with all the drama only a three year old can produce.

So I calmly told her about my repeated requests to stop hitting. So she settled down.

Note to self: Be assertive more quickly when dealing with the children.

Also, as a side note, I'm down 4lbs. This is FINALLY some encouraging news on the weight loss front. Now, to lose 4 more.....

While I'm on the topic of weight loss - it's MUCH easier to stay on track if you are PREPARED. I had no breakfast stuff this morning, so I had to make due with an instant breakfast - which sucked. So go to the store when you are getting close to running out of your stuff.

My Zuma class starts on Thursday. I'm very excited. I hope we have a good instructer.

Ok, enough droning on and on.....

You get what you pay for.

Went yesterday to buy a pedometer.

Apparently it is wise to spend more than $8 on one. From the time you turn it on to the time you clip it to your waist it says you've already taken 5 steps.

So I hit the reset button while it's clipped to my waistband. Then I walk out to my car, and back into the house. According to the pedometer I walked 103 steps. Yeah.....not likely.

Damn it.

So I guess I'm going to take it back to good ol Wally World, and get a refund. What a let down.

On a side note, I kinda had a bad night with DH, due to my mental breakdown/emotional issues. But that's for another blog, probably on the other site, as the beginning of that breakdown was brought on by my saying "I'm guessing that you're rubbing my back because you want a blow job" Apparently that's an invitation to fight. Just so you all know.

Then this morning, when I dropped my kids off at my SIL's, out of the blue, she starts bragging about her calf muscles.

WTF? Do I care how big her calves are, and how toned? No. I could give two shits less. But I smiled and said "Good Job".

You know why? Cause I'm a doormat. Hence my mental breakdowns.

Damnit

OMG, I'm becoming Uncle Shiny Face!

I realized this morning that I have adapted a very undesirable trait.

I lie to my DH regarding the food that I eat.

Auntie Come Hither and I have talked about Uncle Shiny Face's eating disorder. He's a closet eater.

He eats normal at home, but leaves home and gets huge amounts of fast food, junk food, candy bars, and pop, energy drinks etc.

It has become an real issue in their relationship.

I've always agreed with ACH, and how he needs to stop. He needs to be honest, etc.

But here lately, since DH and I have been "watching our weight" and working out and such....I've been lieing to him.

I know that I'll get this 10 minute lecture in a stern voice, and crossed arms, and blah blah blah....

So I don't mention if I have some M&M's. I don't mention if I stop at McDonalds for breakfast. I don't mention if we order lunch at work and I get a cheeseburger.

I don't want the guilt lecture.

I guess I need to quit being a hypocrite.

Or he needs to quit trying to be my father/judge.

One of the two.

And the journey begins.....again.......for the 15th time

Hey, at least I don't give up forever right?

I'm back on track to be healthful. According to my endocrinologist I have to lose 10 lbs to be out of the danger zone for diabetes. Then I can quit taking my meds for diabetes. Yippee!!!

So last night I went to the gym. According to the good Dr. I must incorporate 60 additional minutes of movement a day. So I've been trying to keep it simple. Go the gym when I can. I'm going to buy a pedometer. Dancing with my princess daughter. Stuff like that.

I REALLY pushed myself at the gym yesterday. DH was very proud....and I was proud of myself as well. Now I just have to try it again.

Oh yeah, and I got a new toothbrush. Normally this ins't major news, but I got my first electric one. Wow is that weird. I haven't decided if I like it or not. I can only imagine that's what it would feel like if I put a vibrator in my mouth.....not that I would ever do that......

Soy Nuts

So technically this weekend should have sucked. I'm battling a sever sinus infection, I have a cold sore on both my top and bottom lips, and my dog died. I'm not making that up to make me more pitiful.

She was 11 - and that's 1 year past her average life expectancy. I'm still in mourning, and my heart aches every time I think of her.

But that aside, I had a really great weekend. We did one last Christmas at my moms, which the kids LOVED. One more day of opening presents. And it was nice because I got to visit with my sisters.

Then on Sunday, we went to a church in town. We have made a New Years Resolution to get our butts to church so that our children don't grow up to be heathens. We had been invited to this church over and over for a long time. But we kept blowing it off.

But it was AWESOME. It far exceeded my expectations. The songs and the sermon kept my interest, and made me laugh. I felt better about myself and my life more so than I had in the last 2 years.

And the most amazing thing is that my DH (who believes he is going to hell, and is quite happy about that) actually enjoyed it as well. It gave us something to talk about, other than our children, and we are both looking forward to the next week. How amazing is that???? Pretty f(*&ing amazing, let me tell ya.

Oh yeah, and I went to the grocery store, so that we can eat better. I'm trying to make vegatables be the center of our meals, instead of meat. So I bought a TON of veggies aaannnnddd I bought myself a package of SOY NUTS!! Roasted/unsalted. I love them. And I read an article that they are really good for my eating style, as they are filling, and yet not calorie laden.

So I go to the Endocrinologist today for my test results from my bloodwork. Will I be diabetic?? Will I still have a Vitamin D deficiency?? Who knows. But I'm not even worrying about it.

I'm on a Soybean High!!

WTF?

So, since I've been classified as "borderline diabetic" (whatever that means) I've been trying to lose some weight.

Have I been doing anything differently? No.

Have I been working out? No.

Isn't that great? Aren't you proud of me?

I've gained 4 freakin lbs in the last month or so. GAINED!! Not lost.

Ok, so this morning I've decided to track what I eat, to shame me into eating less.

Also, I'm going to take pictures of myself in my underwear to try to motivate me. Or help me puke after meals. Either way, win/win.