Quiz Thing

Here is an e-mail between my sister and myself this morning:

This was my answers regarding her:



Body: So You Think You Know Me...
(2 Points) My name: Dear
(4 Points) My last name: Sister
(4 Points) Who am I in love with: Yourself (Ha Ha) – I guess Prasanna
(1 Points) Where did we meet: Ummm..at the hospital I’m guessing
(6 Points) Take a stab at my middle name: I dunno – Dork? (the correct one)
(1 Points) Where do I work: Some Indian place helping people come into this country
(3 Point) What am I afraid of: Poverty?
(2 Points) Do I smoke : Only weed
(3 Points) Do I drink: Only on days that end in Y
(3 points) Do you think Im a virgin: Ha Ha Ha…I’m still laughing over that one.
(1 Point) Do I have any siblings: Nope, only child
(2 Points) How many: I said you were an only child, that means 0 siblings
(2 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do: Have sex?
(1 Point) How many piercings do I have: 5, 2 in each ear and one in your nose (unless you have one in your cha cha that I don’t know about)
(4 Points) How many tattoos do I have: None (loser)
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music: You prefer classical, but will listen to Folk if you have to
(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing: Very very shy. We’re working on getting you to open up and share a little bit
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: Total Rebel -
(2 Points) Whats my favorite color: Ummm…fushia? (Green)
(3 Points) Name something I hate: Me?
(4 Points) Name a talent I have: Playing the skin flute
(4 Points) Whats my phone number: 666-666-6666
(4 Points) What kind of sneakers do I wear: Hooker Boots
(4 Points) Do I have any pets: A Monkey (in your pants) Ha Ha
(2 Points) Who am I dating/likeing right now: A terrorist (according to our Dad and Step Dad)
(5 Points) How long have I been dating/liking them: A few years now
(5 Points) What is my worst habit: Breathing
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring: A Vibrator, books, food and a huge supply of batteries (oh wait, that’s me) A phone, food and TV

Now here is her response to me:

Body: So You Think You Know Me...
(2 Points) My name: Countess
(4 Points) My last name: B Formally know as *****
(4 Points) Who am I in love with: Yourself!! Ok maybe DH too
(1 Points) Where did we meet: mmmm good question…at a bar
(6 Points) Take a stab at my middle name: Ann (I actually had to think about that one)
(1 Points) Where do I work: *******
(3 Point) What am I afraid of: Paying Bills LOL
(2 Points) Do I smoke : Yeah like a chimney
(3 Points) Do I drink: Only on days that end in Y
(3 points) Do you think Im a virgin: Yep some how you birthed two kids and remained a virgin (you must be Mary).
(1 Point) Do I have any siblings: Not sure you are adopted
(2 Points) How many: Not sure …we picked you up on the side of the road
(2 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do: touch yourself
(1 Point) How many piercings do I have: 3 piercings (b/c your too scared to get one on your cha cha)
(4 Points) How many tattoos do I have: 4 (unless you have one on your butt)
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music: Books on CD
(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing: Biotchy
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: You don’t know what rules are!!
(2 Points) Whats my favorite color: Blue
(3 Points) Name something I hate: non-smokers
(4 Points) Name a talent I have: being hateful
(4 Points) Whats my phone number: 333-333-3333 (that is the son of Satan b/c you are below me LOL)
(4 Points) What kind of sneakers do I wear: Wal-Mart brand
(4 Points) Do I have any pets: 3 Dogs
(2 Points) Who am I dating/likeing right now: A biker Trucker guy (I hope DH doesn’t find out)
(5 Points) How long have I been dating/liking them: I don’t know like 6 I think
(5 Points) What is my worst habit: Reading
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring: well you already answered that one A Vibrator, books, food and a huge supply of batteries



I love my sister - she knows me so well.

No, I'm not busy

Here is a cold hard truth. I don't much care for my nephews. There I said it. It's out there. Now that that is out there.

I told my DH on Sunday, that I WAS NOT allowing my nephew to come home with me on Monday.

Then my SIL calls me and gives me some cockamamey story about how she can't take him with her to wrestling because she has to fill out papers, blah blah blah.

So I, being a good SIL, say, sure, bring him down. I glance frantically at the clock. It's only 5:30 - she won't be home until 8 or 8:30. Ugh....at least 3 hours of that hellion. Too long to lock him in the dog cage, besides, I think he's bored with playing "bad doggie".

It's not that I don't like kids. I do. I love mine. But it seems like my nephew irks the SHIT out of me.

I can handle him for about an hour. Then I just want to start throwing things. Or starting throwing up, or something.

My daughter LOOOOVVVVVEEESSS her cousin. They play together for most of the day (because my SIL watches my kids). Even after spending hours together, she will ask if he can come over when I come home. Most of the time I'm able to say no, because I have other things to do. But sometimes I have to watch him because my BIL is working, and my SIL has to take the older heathen to wrestling.

First of all, he is destructive. Every single freakin time he comes over, he breaks something.

GRRRR!! Since he does it out of my sight, then blames it on my 1 year old son, I have to punish both him AND my daughter. They just sit and giggle throughout time out.

Also, he's a year older then my daughter (that makes him 4) and he doesn't speak as well as my daughter. Which REALLY makes me grit my teeth. And when I explain something to him, he just looks at me with this kinda blank look and says "yeah" to everything I say.

In this example, he is CFH (Child from Hell):

Me: CFH, did you break that sword?

CFH: No.

Me: Ok, Daughter, did you break this sword?

Daughter: No mommy, CFH did.

Me: CFH, Daughter said that you did. Now tell me the truth, did you break this sword?

CFH: Son did (Note, not a complete sentance)

Me: CFH, Son is a baby, he doesn't have enough strength to break this sword. I'm going to ask you one more time, and I want the truth, DID YOU BREAK THIS SWORD?????

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

Me: We don't break toys in this house, understand?

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

Me: Now you will sit in time out for 4 minutes for breaking that toy and telling me a lie.

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

Me: CFH, do you want me to beat you with a ball bat?

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

I HATE THAT!! It makes me feel like I'm dealing with a mentally challenged child. Which he IS NOT!!

But I put on my "good and responsible" aunt hat, and try to teach him normality, and the proper way to act.

And when that fails I beat him with a ball bat - hard.

LOOK AT ME, DAMNIT!

I think I'm an attention whore. Or something.

Let me go back a bit. I used to be a total goody goody. I think I've mentioned this before, or maybe I mentioned it here. I've never done any drugs, didn't drink until I was out of high school, didn't have sex until I was 17. I've only had 3 sexual partners, the third and last being my DH.

I was even given the nickname of Queen of the Goody Goodies, being shortened to Queenie, which people still call me to this day.

Now it's a little different.

I won't go into exactly why, but I'll get to the point of my post.

First of all, I work in a somewhat conservitive type job. I've always worked in an office. I've always had (and still have) an upmost professional appearance and demeanor. People tease me about my message on my cell phone, and how I answer my phone at home.

However, I'm addicted to tatoos. Guys that have tatoos make me hot. Ok, girls that have them make me hot too.

I love them on myself. I love looking at them. I love getting them.

I only have 3, but I want more. I plan for them, and they all symbolize something in my life.

But this weekend, I pierced my nose. WHA!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?

I have always loved my sisters nose piercing, but never thought I'd do it to myself. But DH was getting his second sitting on his tatoo and he was like - "just go do it"

First of all, it hurt like a mutha (I always wanted to say mutha). Second, it's done by hand.

The needle they use is HUGE. At least 2 1/2 inches long.

They shove a tube up your nose because they have to push the needle all the way through, and they need to have something in there to catch it.

Now that Avitable (whom I imagined naked to take my mind from the pain) showed me how to post pics, I'll post some on here to show my tats and my piercings.

THEN - NO WAIT THERE'S MORE - THEN I WENT AND DIED MY HAIR BLACK.

Everyone says I look Goth. That's not the look I was going for.

The moral of the story is, I like to shock people. I like people to pay attention to me.

And I'm tired of showing my tits.

What to talk about???

So I don't know what to talk about today.

The beads that have GHB? (Good thing they weren't anal)

That I'm having a bonding day tomorrow with my mom and my sisters? (Pedicures, Sushi, Hair Styleing Galore)

That I'm going to have my sister take a picture of my breasts so that I can remember when they were perky? (Ok, they are only perky when they are in a bra, so they will be in a bra in the picture)

That I really need to focus on losing weight, you know, not eat whatever the hell I want? (I can say that when I'm not hungry, ask me again in a few hours and Satan will growl "I'll eat whatever the hell I want" from somewhere deep inside me.)

That I found grey hairs this morning? (I think they are blonde, but no one else does)

That I look great today, and no one has noticed? (Umm, hello assholes, a little bit of compliments goes a long way)

That all the guys here reassure me that I'll look like shit for dyeing my hair dark? (Fuck them, I don't care. I want something DIFFERENT, and I was told I'd lose my job if I pierced my nose. Now piercing my tongue is ok....guess my boss is still hoping for a below desk blow job)

That I need someone to tell me how to post pictures to my profile, and to the blog, because I'm HTML/Blogger/Internet retarded? ('Nuff said)

The Basics

So, I don't know blog etiquette. I don't even know how to spell etiquette.

For instance, I read the blogs on the left daily. I'm afraid to leave a comment. I mean, I think I'm totally different from their "usual" readers, and I'm afraid my comments will seem trite, or dumb, or worse yet, naive.

There are a few blogs that I actually feel comfortable enough to leave a comment. But, as I'm sure they will tell you, I need more practice on being witty.


I used to be funny, back before I had kids and before "the comments". I'm constantly told that I'm TOO outspoken, and I say things I shouldn't. So I've been trying to change that about myself, but people don't seem as drawn to me anymore.

Hmmmmm...maybe I should tell those people that told me to moderate myself to GO FUCK THEMSELVES!!!

Woo Hooo...I was able to incorporate the F bomb into a post - GO ME!

I'm such a dork.....

This is going to see really, really, well, dorkish.

Diesel commented on one of my posts. It made me laugh.

Then I was on cloud nine, because someone that I read daily commented on my blog.

I get this same feeling when Sornie comments.

I want to ask for their autograph. I want to show everyone, look, look who commented.

And I'm not a star chaser, or whatever you want to call it. I'd like to think I don't fall into that hype.

But I did have a friend that dated a local radio station DJ, and I felt famous hanging out with him, and telling people that he was part of my "circle".

I must have low self esteem.

Living on a wooded, secluded 5 acres, in a small town is starting to get to me. I should consider moving to the city.

Ok, this post was lame,and not funny at all, but I'm still giddy from reading the comment.

Oh yeah, and I had someone tell me today that I was beautiful. That puts me on cloud nine every time!!

If I wasn't having problems with my libido, I'd run to the bathroom to touch myself lightly.

I'll try to post better tomorrow...

Only a slight irritation..

I’ve never said that I’m a good housekeeper. Actually, I think I’ve stated the exact opposite. But you know things are bad when you ask:

Honey, have you seen the stroller?

Now I can see overlooking or misplacing a shirt, keys, papers, diaperbag, cup, toothbrush, purse, hairbrush, glasses, food, dishes, etc. But a stroller??? WOW!! I need some serious re-organization.

And I’ll get right on it. When I have a “free” moment. Wait, free moments are to be spent focusing on me, not on the house or the kids.

So DH knew right where the stroller was (in the shed) and we loaded it, along with 5 bags, to take to GG’s in order to do our last round of trick or treating.

We took Livvie, dressed as a butterfly, and our princess and our dragon. All had a great time, except most of the time you heard this from my DH:

No, Livvie, you can’t go play with that dog.

Heel Livvie, followed by a dry Hhgggk, Hhggkk from her choking from pulling on her lead.

Then, HEEL LIVVIE – I SAID HEEL. – Yeah, she does well on a lead – WHATEVA.

The only thing that pissed me off was when someone asked “Is that a pit pull?” To which my DH gave a quirky smile that answered their question without words. While I am frantically yelling ahead – “No, she’s an Amstaff Terrier”.

Ok, so Amstaff's are a cousin to the Pit Bull. So what? I REFUSE to allow my precious Livvie to be grouped in with monster dogs. She is the best dog we’ve had…and trust me, we’ve had a few.

I just hate that DH is proud of the fact that we have a dreaded "Pit Bull". The same as he is proud that we have 2 Rottweilers. He says that he likes proving people wrong.

It seems like that's the theme of our life - proving people wrong.

Here are a list of things we've proved so far:

That you don't have to wear helmets when you ride a motorcycle
That Rotts and Pitts make great pets
That you CAN save money by heating with wood
That you can beat someone's ass and then have dinner with them the following week
That a woman can ride her own motorcycle
That a goody goody and a biker/trucker can make a marriage last
Kids can eat dogfood and not get sick
Peeing outside IS more hygenic than porta johns
That not all rednecks have broken down cars in the yard
That women CAN have multiple orgasms
That fat women ARE sexy
You can have a fabulous wedding on less than $2,000
That your marriage can survive a threesome

Ok, I made up that threesome part. Even though it's a fantasy, we haven't lived it, and probably never will. But it's fun to think about, isn't it!!

So, maybe tonight I’ll get to start on that whole organizing thing. Right after I do dishes, cook supper, and occupy my kids because DH is out of town – AGAIN.

Sometimes I hate being a married, yet single mother.