Soy Nuts

So technically this weekend should have sucked. I'm battling a sever sinus infection, I have a cold sore on both my top and bottom lips, and my dog died. I'm not making that up to make me more pitiful.

She was 11 - and that's 1 year past her average life expectancy. I'm still in mourning, and my heart aches every time I think of her.

But that aside, I had a really great weekend. We did one last Christmas at my moms, which the kids LOVED. One more day of opening presents. And it was nice because I got to visit with my sisters.

Then on Sunday, we went to a church in town. We have made a New Years Resolution to get our butts to church so that our children don't grow up to be heathens. We had been invited to this church over and over for a long time. But we kept blowing it off.

But it was AWESOME. It far exceeded my expectations. The songs and the sermon kept my interest, and made me laugh. I felt better about myself and my life more so than I had in the last 2 years.

And the most amazing thing is that my DH (who believes he is going to hell, and is quite happy about that) actually enjoyed it as well. It gave us something to talk about, other than our children, and we are both looking forward to the next week. How amazing is that???? Pretty f(*&ing amazing, let me tell ya.

Oh yeah, and I went to the grocery store, so that we can eat better. I'm trying to make vegatables be the center of our meals, instead of meat. So I bought a TON of veggies aaannnnddd I bought myself a package of SOY NUTS!! Roasted/unsalted. I love them. And I read an article that they are really good for my eating style, as they are filling, and yet not calorie laden.

So I go to the Endocrinologist today for my test results from my bloodwork. Will I be diabetic?? Will I still have a Vitamin D deficiency?? Who knows. But I'm not even worrying about it.

I'm on a Soybean High!!

My moral compass is broken...

So I’m driving in to work this morning, and I hear them talking about an elderly couple that found $12,000 in the freezer of their newly rented apartment.

They turned it in to the police, but they hope the money will be returned to them.

WOW!! If I found $12,000, would I turn it in? I’d like to say, of course I would. But damn, $12,000 could really help me out. I could pay off some credit cards, minimize my debt, so that I could build a house sooner than when Jesus comes back.

Of course, my luck, some mafia guy would find me and start cutting my limbs off…

But hey, I wouldn’t mind missing a pinkie for $12,000.

Sick, aren’t I?

A typical conversation

DH: So how was your day?

Me: Pretty good, Ernie was, DAUGHTER, LET GO OVER HIS ELMO RIGHT NOW!!

DH: What was Ernie doing?

Me: Oh it was so funny, he went upstairs and SON, IF YOU DON'T STOP HITTING YOUR SISTER YOU ARE GOING IN TIME OUT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

DH: What did he do upstairs?

Me: Well he went upstairs, to the upstairs....THAT'S IT, SON YOU ARE GOING IN TIME OUT, DAUGHTER, STOP CRYING - HE DIDN'T HIT YOU THAT HARD.

DH: Sigh....

Me: (mumbling to myself) Why the fuck did I have kids again? Is this how I like to spend my time...noooo...I would like to be cooking dinner in peace and quiet, but instead I have to....OLIVIA (the dog) GO LAY DOWN. IF I TRIP OVER YOU ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS.

DH: (says nothing, as he is now absorbed into the TV)

We have great communication at our house, don't we?

Who would have imagined?

Yesterday I get a call from my dad. He asks me if I remember Tim Farmer. Wow, yeah I do. He was a year older than me. Blonde and very cute.

Why?

Well, he works with me, and he asked if I was related to you.

WHAT?? Tim freakin Farmer remembered me?
WTF?

First of all, who remembers underclassmen?

Second, I don't think I spoke to him.....ever.

Third, why?

What about me does he remember? Did I stink? (I've asked several other people that went to school with me, and no, I didn't stink)

Was I extremely overweight? (Checked on that too...and um, no)

Did I look wierd? What. What is it that makes him remember me??

I'll be really pissed if he thought I was cute and never moved on it. I would have LOVED to date him. Back then I was a goody goody, but I probably would have rather given him my virginity, then who I actually did give it to.

Damn...it makes me want to stalk him and ask him......

No specific subject

I feel a little better today. Not 100%, but I would say I'm at about 80%.

I have a lot on my mind today. Lots of deep thoughts. Not really anything I can share. But it's preventing me from being amusing, even to myself.

One thought that I can share. I've never flossed. Honest!! I don't have disgusting teeth. They aren't perfect, mostly because I'm a smoker and a drink ALOT of tea. But I brush them regularly. I just don't floss. I'm afraid I'll cut myself. And who has time, honestly? I'm lucky I have time to brush my hair, let alone floss my teeth.

I forgot to thaw anything out for dinner, so that leaves pasta. Is gnocchi only supposed to be a side dish? Because I was going to make it the main focus of tonights dinner.

I need a different way to fix gnocchi other than top it with red sauce. My daughter doesn't eat red sauce. My son would make a huge mess.

Is broccoli a bad side to serve with gnocchi? I would rather make spinach, but what would be a good compliment to the gnocchi?

I don't have anything really good that I'm reading right now, and that irritates me.

I think I need to buy presents for my family get together this weekend, but I'm not sure, so I'll need to call my sister.

See what I mean? Not amusing at all.....Maybe I'll be better tomorrow

So far, so good

So I went and worked out last night. Only for about 25 mins, but still, that's better than nothing, right? I did some treadmill walking, and actually jogged for a whole 2 minutes. That's pretty good for my lazyass.

Then I did some weight machines and felt like a total idiot.

What is it about the gym that makes me an insecure ninny?

Sure, it could be because I'm the largest person there. I mean, everyone else there falls into two catagories

a) Skinny little women running their hearts out on an eliptical.

b) Muscular, sweaty, grunting guys, who won't make eye contact with me.

Then there's me. Working out alone. No partner to encourage me. No personal trainer to kick my ass. Just little ol fat me.

So, I go in and do what I feel capable of doing, and then leave. Maybe I'll work myself up to a half an hour tomorrow. We'll see.

So I left there and went to the library. I love going to the library. Unfortunatly I'm always rushed, so I don't have much time to browse. Someday I'll be able to take my leisure and look at whatever I want to without constantly checking the clock.

Tonight I'm making meatloaf. For some reason my kids LOVE meatloaf, so since they haven't eaten well for the last two days (they can't get past the sauerkraut smell)I figured they deserved something that they would like.

My DH let my older rottie stay in the house today, with Livvie, our Amstaf. I'm curious to see if I still have a house when I get home. Or if I still have 2 dogs.

Or if I need to severly beat both dogs. I'll keep you posted.

Is anybody out there???

Did anyone miss me? I mean, I was gone for appx. 2 weeks. Surely that has impacted someone’s life. Ok, maybe not.

The Holidays went as well as can be expected. The only major drama I had was that I thought my purse was stolen. Ok, lost. Whatever. Here I had put it on the end of my daughter’s bed when I carried her in from the car. Ok, only a slight anxiety attack. I can handle that.

Now, to focus on 2008. I need to have some goals. I’ll post my sexual ones on my other blog. This is the clean one.

1. Beat my children more. Seriously, a lot more. When I say stop hitting me, I mean it. We don’t hit in this family, damnit

2. Beat my dog more. Seriously, when I say stay in the kitchen, I mean, stay in the fucking kitchen.

3. Nap more. When I say that I want to take a nap, I mean it. I don’t mean I want to lay down, then get up every 15 minutes to fill a sippy cup, or stop a child from sticking his toys in the electrical socket. Sheesh…can I have an hour for myself?

4. Sweep my kitchen floor more often. It’s pretty bad when the dog won’t even lay down on it.

5. Get up earlier. Honestly, do I need to hit the snooze 6 times?? Nooo..just set my alarm clock for later.. Wait then I won’t be…ok, nevermind.

6. Try to stand up for myself, without coming across as a total bitch. This includes no dirty looks, no snorts when someone talks, no sighing, and no stony silences.

That’s all I can think of right now. Anyone else have any suggestions?