Come one, come all.........

Last night, at ten till nine, DH suddenly decides that my Livvie needs a bath. Now I think I've talked about Livvie before. She's my amstaff that we rescued from New York.

Note to self, think of a better name for DH than DH

Anyhow, he jumps up and chases her to the back. The heathens children ran quickly behind them. My spidey senses advised me that this would be a good time to catch up on some reading as the children would be occupied for AT LEAST 10 minutes.

Shortly into the first chapter I had to put my book down. The conversations in the back were classic. It went something like this:



The daughter (Here after known as PD for this story)"Dad, can I sit here and watch you? Dad, why is Livvie getting a bath? (giggling) Dad, giving Livvie a bath is sooo fun."

DH "Because she is dirty. Don't you get dirty when you play outside"

PD "Yeah....Dad, what did she do to get dirty? Did she roll in the dirt?"

DH *Sigh* "Probably PD - Livvie was running through the woods and so she was in the dirt and the mud"

Silence with the sound of water running in the background.

DH "SON!!! GET OFF THE HOT WATER RIGHT NOW. YOU CANNOT BE ON THE HOT WATER YOU COULD BURN YOURSELF OR LIVVIE."

I'm not really sure how my son was on the hot water as it's a tub/shower combo and the faucets are on the wall. Maybe he was in the sink. Whatever, I'm sure the son got the point.

PD "Dad, why is she standing like that?"

DH "Because I'm washin..."

PD "DAD DAD - WHY IS SHE PUTTING HER LEG UP LIKE THAT?"

DH - Total exasperation in his voice - "PD Livvie doesn't like to get a bath - do YOU like to get a bath?"

PD Yeah, I do...

DH - Sigh - "Ok, well you know how YOUR BROTHER doesn't like getting a bath - well neither does Livvie"

PD "Oh, ok"

DH "Now go get Daddy a......SON...YOU CANNOT CLIMB ON THE WASHER LIKE THAT!!! OMG YOUR MOM IS GOING TO KILL ME. GET DOWN NOW. THAT IS NOT A TOY, PUT THAT DOWN. YOU CAN DO LAUNDRY WITH MOMMY TOMORROW YOU DON'T NEED THE LAUNDRY SOAP. BOY!!! I'M NOT KIDDING. YOU ARE SO LUCKY THAT I CAN'T COME OVER TO YOU RIGHT NOW. DAUGHTER!! WHERE ARE THE TOWELS? DAMNIT - LIVVIE DO NOT SHAKE! SIT... I SAID SIT!!

PD "Dad, why are you so mad?

It actually went even further as he cleaned Livvies ears...but I don't have time to type that. I'm grinning from ear to ear just thinking about it....

I love my family.

Finally DH realizes - sort of

Well last night DH said the words out loud that I've been thinking in my head for a looooong time.

I'M SELFISH.

He said this with no prompting from myself, and after several minutes of deep after sex thoughts.

Let me enumerate the ways he is selfish. I'll start with the lesser offenses.

1. He has 2 spaces in our living room that are HIS spaces. No one else may put their items in those spaces or said items will be thrown to floor, or possibly put in the trash. He will also bitch the ENTIRE time he takes said items out of his spaces. These spaces ALSO happen to be the most convenient spaces - the stand right beside the front door, and the end table right beside the "master" chair.

2. If there is ANY food, no matter if it is something I have saved from dinner for my lunch the following day, or a dessert I've been nibbling on - to him it is free game. He will eat it, and then act offended because I'm mad that it's gone.

3. He expects me to plan my life around whatever his work and/or play schedule is. If I want to do something and I don't want to take the children, he must have a minimum of a week's notice, and reminders several times a day, every day, until the date of my excursion. If my excursion isn't household related then I get a HUGE guilty trip, and the Spanish Inquisition as to when I will be home. If I am not at home at the time I indicated or earlier, I am given the whole - Well you said you'd be home at.....

4. When we have sex - oh wait, that's for my other blog. Just be rest assured that he can be selfish in that way too.

5. If he is watching TV, and I am doing something, like reading, or laundry, or cooking dinner he acts all pissed off if I ask him to get the kids something to eat or drink. Heaven forbid he pause the tv and let me continue with what I am doing.

6. The main selfish thing he has done lately is a biggie. He has decided that since I don't want to ride Harley as much any more, we needed another "family" hobby. So he has decided that we need a rat rod. Please feel free to google this to get more information.

See, about 2 months ago, we decided that we were done living in a tube. That we wanted to build a house. I said, if we can eliminate all debt, except the car payment and the mortgage payment, we can afford to build. We'll be sitting pretty good.

He agreed. So since the first of year I have been putting $207 dollars out of each of my paychecks into a Flexible Spending account for daycare. I don't have a seperate savings account outside of our joint checking. Whenever I bring up the subject of opening one up, he freaks out, claims I'm going to leave him. He doesn't like me being able to stash money that he can't touch, etc. In all fairness, I do have access to his savings, but I only touch it upon his request.

Anyhow, we decided to take the money saved in Flexible Spending since the first of the year, and pay off one credit card. Great. We were in agreement. We also decided to track our spending for one month, so that I could create a budget so that we could stop wasting money. He thinks I'm spending it all, I think he is, and vice versa. So I said we could track it, to find out where the leaks are.

So I pay off the credit card. Now this makes our checking account balance back down to paycheck to paycheck. We used to have some cushion in it, but now it's bare bones.

As of Friday we had appx. $350 dollars in our checking account. Now he has been saving money, and taking money from his dump truck jobs and stashing it away for this rat rod.

He was aware of our financial situation. He knew how much money we had in our account. I also knew that if we really needed it, the money from his savings would be there as a back up.

Out of that $350 had to come $175 for daycare, $70 for fuel and pop for a party, $40.00 for groceries $35.00 for pizza after church, $30.00 for offering. Leaving us at exactly $0.00. And we don't get paid for 5 more days.

But did that stop him? Nope, he went and bought that damn rat rod. And I have to take my kids over to my BFF's tonight, because he is going to pick it up, and start working on it.

Yippeee.

Selfish? His picture is in the dictionary for the definition.

The grass is always greener....

DH had a small melt down last night. I've had the same meltdown several times, so I know how he's feeling.

Sometimes, on our path we've chosen to walk together, it seems like we keep running into steep hills, and walls and seemingly dead ends, and all kinda of obstacles.

It seems like we struggle and struggle to be good parents, and have low debt, and scrimp and save, and we both work hard, with him working 60+ hours most weeks, but we never get ahead.

Most of our friends live in fabulous houses, with fabulous cars, and wear the latest clothes, and go on shopping sprees etc.

We live in a single tube, the newest vehicle we own is an 04 and the transmission light is on in it.

The last "shopping spree" I went on was for a bra because the only ones that fit me were nursing bras and I haven't nursed for over a year.

I'd say 98% of my clothes are hand me downs from people who have either gained or lost weight.

Wow, I'm depressing myself just reading this.

But like I told him last night when he was bitchin about never getting ahead, and never having it easy:

We have a GREAT marriage, a pretty good sex life that keeps getting better, fabulous healthy children, a warm place to sleep at night, and full bellies.

Nothing else matters.

Except that Princess Set I want to get for the daughter for christmas....

So, is it because he's a redneck or......

So every single morning, during the week, I follow the same routine. I have followed this same routine for the past year. I get up at 5 a.m., get my shower, do my makeup and my hair. Then I pack the diaper bag.

My husband's only job is to get the kids toast and chocolate milk ready, then to get my son up, change his diaper, then load him in the jeep. I then get my daughter up, and get her ready to do to the jeep, and then I load her.

Last week, he was gone all week, so all of the above duties fell to me. No big whoop, I'm getting use to feeling like a single mom most of the time.

But he was home this morning. When I got out of the shower, and got dressed, I came out into the living room, to see my husband, fully dressed, and snoozing on the chair. No breakfast has been made, no chocolate milk has been poured, etc.

So I, instantly furious, ask WTF? Is the diaper bag packed, is the milk poured...

He looked at me and said, well, you didn't lay the cups out for me...and I didn't know.....

UMMMMM.....HELLO?????? Is he a part of this family? Has he lived with us for the last year???

NOTHING HAS CHANGED. Nothing. So is it because he is lazy? Is it because he's a redneck, and just assumes that I, YES I, BECAUSE I HAVE A VAGINA, will do everything????

Uggghhhh....and he wonders why I have to take anxiety and depression medication