I'm gonna bust your....

Ok, ok, I know I haven't blogged in awhile. I have valid reasons. Honest.

My other admin was out, so I actually had a full day of work to do...and then some.

My step mother has started chemo, and I have been given the blessing of taking her to all of her doctor's appointments. Because, well, she is estranged from her son, one of my sister's lives out of state and the other one has a week old baby, plus 3 other kids to take care of.

Sigh, so there....that's reason enough.

But I do have a cute story to share.

As most of you know, I have 3 dogs. I have 2 Rottweilers who are mostly outside dogs, and I have 1 Amstaff Terrier that is totally inside. She is the baby.

Anyhow, if it gets really cold outside, we bring the rotties in. But we have to barricade them in the kitchen, because they both have a leakage problem due to being fixed. Just urine, but I'm not having them leak onto my carpet.

Ok, so anyhow, we make up a barricade using my card table and computer chair, so that we can easily get in and out of the kitchen, but they can't easily get into the living room.

My lovely little children ran into the card table while playing and knocked it down. Well I was in the middle of cooking dinner, so I didn't rush over to put it back up.

I then catch a movement out of the corner of my ass. My children are using my card table as a running/sliding thing!!

The first thing I thought was, damnit they are going to break my table!!! Then what will be cut deer up on???? Hmmmm? Did they think of that as they were jumping and running and sliding??? HMMMMM?

My next thought was, I can just picture one of them falling off of it, and busting their head open. (I'm a pretty laid back mom, but I do like to try to prevent trips to the hospital.)

I realize that I must impress the importance of safety upon them.

So I say in a stern Mommy voice: "Prince and Princess, if you break my table, I'm going to break your butt"

Brilliant, I think!! I make a threat to physically hurt them, so that they feel compelled to be safe, and not hurt themselves.

Then I hear Princess whispering to Prince, "If she breaks our butt, we don't have another one. How will we poop without a butt?"

Then to me she says: "Mom, how are we supposed to poop if you break our butts?"

I breath a deep sigh like breath and clench my teeth. Then I release the tension and turn to look at her and the boy.

"Keep playing on that, and you'll find out, you hear me?"

There, that'll show her!!