Love Language #3 - Acts of Service

In our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group we are going to have a meeting where speakers will discuss the 5 love languages as written by Dr. Gary Chapman.

I have read The 5 Love Languages and so has my DH. We read it MONTHS ago. But we have never discussed it. I've never asked him what he thinks is my love language, or what he feels is his.

Just a quick run down - you really should read this book if you haven't already!

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

I think we all need a little of all of the love languages.

My primary language is Acts of Service. My DH's primary language (I think) is physical touch.

For me - Acts of Service include, but are not limited to, the following:

Doing Dishes
Doing Laundry
Changing my Oil
Putting Gas in my Car
Putting Air in my Tires
Picking up the Living Room
Brushing my hair
Rubbing my back
Rubbing my feet
Taking the Trash out
Cooking a Meal
Playing/Interacting with the children so they forget about Mom for a few minutes
Cleaning my fishtanks
Dusting
Getting Rid of Cobwebs
Etc.

Here is the problem. I'm a SAHM - as I have previously stated. My DH's work schedule requires him to work from appx. 4:00 a.m. to appx. 6:00 p.m. - sometimes later - sometimes overnight.

This means that the responsibility of children, homework, meals, dogs, discipline, bill paying, bathtime, bedtime, laundry, car maintenance - well everything - falls on me.

When DH IS home I don't feel it's fair that I ask him to do - well - anything. Because when he comes home he is usually cutting firewood. If he has ANY free time - he spends it hunting or preparing for hunting. That's his relaxation.

Which explains why our relationship is usually at an impasse. He doesn't have any energy or desire to do what I need to fill my tank, aka the Acts of Service mentioned above.

When my tank is empty - which it usually is - I don't feel like touching him or feeling physical in any way. Which then makes HIS tank empty. And the vicious cycle goes on and on.....

The question is - how to break it? How to fill up each other's tank.

I would venture to say the first step is just confirming that my guess about his primary language is true.

We better hurry - Valentines Day is around the corner!