Parenting Styles

Liza and I had a pretty deep conversation the other night that really got me thinking.

What, exactly, is my parenting style? What are my rules? What are my black, white and grey areas concerning my kids?

I'm reading a FANTASTIC book right now called Making Your Children Mind Withou Losing Yours.

I am totally in sync with this book. I realized that I was already doing a lot of the things in it, and it is giving me ideas of way to correct myself.

I will probably be quoting from this book a lot.

One thing that has helped recently is what to do when they cry and throw a fit. I had tried yelling, whipping, time out - you name it.

But the book suggested that you simply remove them from your presence. They are doing it strictly because they know you are watching.

So now when the crying/whining starts, I simply pick him/her up, calmly tell them that they need to stop, put them in their room and let them know that when they calm down, they can talk to me.

Little man is my most STUBBORN one. Last night I had to put him back in his room 8 times before he quit crying. But it worked. With no beatings and my blood pressure barely went up.

Whew. Now, if I stick with it...it should work.

I'm back at square one

So my house has gone to the dogs in the last few days. I haven't been able to do much because my babies both ran high fevers for two days and just wanted mommy to hold them, and get drinks for them...plus I was EXHAUSTED.

No one else picked up the slack (as if). So everything just piled up. But no worries. DH told me that while he was on layoff HE was going to get our bedroom cleaned up and organized.

Yeah right.

Just like he wouldn't wait 6 months to install my ice and water on my fridge and it's been now.....5 months....He has one month to go.

Whatever. He talks a lot of crap. I think he lives in his own little world where he is the perfect father and husband simply because he works himself to the bone.

I need more. I guess I'm selfish.

What % do u give, and I'm not talking about Christmas gifts.

Today was Storytime at the Library. I look forward to this because I want my little man and my Princess to love books as much as I do. But I also love the interaction with the other moms at the McDonalds afterwards.

Today I was complaining about DH. Well, not really complaining just discussing that I gave in a agreed to not nap, and to clean at least 7 hours of the day.

But I wasn't very gracious about it. I was trying to be positive, but it was difficult.

One of the moms asked me if I feel that I give 100%. Because DH gives more than 100% to provide for us.

I really thought about it.

I don't.

I'm not sure why. I guess because my definition of 100% is going non stop and cleaning and organizing and having my home look like Liza's.

But I don't know that I have it in me to give 100%. I can only do so much, and then I get burnt out. And as one of the moms pointed out, eventually the energy drinks won't work anymore.

I don't know what to do.

How do I give 100%? I can never get a clear answer from anyone on how they do it?

I'm trying to get at least one room a day completely organized and cleaned, while still keeping up the living room and the kitchen. Which that takes a TON of energy.

I just don't understand how everyone else does it.

This is a venting post - prepare yourself for some major complaining

I am SUPER mad right now. DH and I just had a major fight because he came home and I was napping. Now I've said before...I love to sleep. It's one of my favorite pastimes.

I asked him what he needed to see done when he got home in order to make him happy. He said have the dishes done and living room clean. I did that, plus laundry, plus bathed kids and sorted and organized and got rid of a lot of clutter.

But does that matter NOOOOO.

He finally came clean. His mother and other SAHM's DO NOT SLEEP. So napping is unacceptable to him. What is acceptable is cleaning for 7+ hours a day. According to him, there is always something to do, so I should be up doing it. With a smile, and have dinner ready for him, and perform my wifely duties.

I AM SO BEYOND PISSED.

But what can I do? I want to stay home with my kids. My only other option is to go work. Do what he wants, or go to work.

I have to go, my kids are asking for me to beat them.

My Monday Confession

Ok, I was going to make Mondays Monday Mission. But since I've added Tackle it Tuesday, I think I'll stick with Monday Confession.

So here is my confession for today:

I feel like it's 3 against 1 in the family. I don't mean emotionally. I mean work wise. I feel like I am constantly cleaning. No one helps. Don't get me wrong, if I scream and repeat myself 14 times, my daughter will take her clothes that she just took off in the living room back to the laundry baskets, but that's more effort than it's worth.

Same with toys. My daughter obeys my rule and only has 1 baby in the living room. My son somehow gets several trucks, then dumps a puzzle etc. He's only 2. I'm not really sure what I can expect from him.

Then there's my DH. Don't get me wrong. He picks up his clothes and takes them to the hallway. He carries his dirty dishes to the sink. But he doesn't rinse them off.

I do all the laundry, wash all the dishes, picks up all the rooms. No wonder my house ALWAYS looks a mess. I'm the ONLY one doing anything about it, and I'm only one person.

Anyone ever felt the same? Anyone have any suggestions. I don't want to ask for help from DH becaus cleaning and stuff is now my "job".

I'm frustrated.