Today was Storytime at the Library. I look forward to this because I want my little man and my Princess to love books as much as I do. But I also love the interaction with the other moms at the McDonalds afterwards.
Today I was complaining about DH. Well, not really complaining just discussing that I gave in a agreed to not nap, and to clean at least 7 hours of the day.
But I wasn't very gracious about it. I was trying to be positive, but it was difficult.
One of the moms asked me if I feel that I give 100%. Because DH gives more than 100% to provide for us.
I really thought about it.
I don't.
I'm not sure why. I guess because my definition of 100% is going non stop and cleaning and organizing and having my home look like Liza's.
But I don't know that I have it in me to give 100%. I can only do so much, and then I get burnt out. And as one of the moms pointed out, eventually the energy drinks won't work anymore.
I don't know what to do.
How do I give 100%? I can never get a clear answer from anyone on how they do it?
I'm trying to get at least one room a day completely organized and cleaned, while still keeping up the living room and the kitchen. Which that takes a TON of energy.
I just don't understand how everyone else does it.
4 comments:
Everyone is different. One person's idea of success is another's failure. It's all about perception and don't beat yourself up trying to "be like the Joneses".
you can't compare yourself to anyone else because they are not 100% you. not only is that unfair (to you and your family) it's completely unrealistic. have you tried sitting down with your DH and discussing expectations? the 100% doesn't have to mean that you are going full speed all day long. part of that 100 is for home management, part is for child rearing, part if for quality time spent with DH, part is for meal prep, part is for YOU and you alone. there are 1,000 different ways and combinations that add up to 100%. finding the combination that works for your family isn't impossible, it will just take effort on the part of EVERYONE - including those who are not at home during the day. DH's job ends when he walks in the door. if you're a sahm, when does yours end?
Since I have been off work due to shoulder surgery, I have gotten a different view on all the house work and such.
I do believe in the "typical" roles. If one or the other stays home to be the home maler, then that is your job. Do the housework. Take care of the kids. Make dinner...etc.
If the other is going to work to make the paycheck, and support the family, then go to work and do it.
HOWEVER...
At no point should the person going to work, come home and complain about the work being done around the house. Your spouse doesn't come to your work and bitch about what you do or don't do at work. You shouldn't either.
Aslo, at some point, the person making the paycheck, should contribute to helping clean up after yourself. I mean for petes sake. YOU ARE AN ADULT! Clean up after yourself. Just because it is the other persons "job", doesn't make it OK for you to treat them like a slave.
I try to help Starbux out as much as I can. No matter the situation. I have spent entire weekends doing every load of laundry. I cook 3-5 times a week. I try to make sure the house is cleaned up as much as possible. Granted, we do have older kids that do have chores, and that does help, but their chores aren't anything significantly (sp? it's early!!! gimme some slack!)difficult.
So thats my take.
You KNOW the only reason my house is clean is WEE WEE IS ANAL! I get the same shit from him. I hate to clean! With a passion!!!!! I do agree with Wicked. DH needs to make sure he is cleaning up after himself as do the little ones and it's never too early to start "chores". Having them put away their clothes or "making their beds" or picking up toys. We used to split the cleaning 50/50 until he started re-doing things I had already done. I then got pissed and quit doing things. I do however, find myself in a panic about an hour before he comes home making sure the house is in "order" just to avoid his comments. One day at a time and it will all come together. It's really nothing to stress about. I love you and I would STILL love you if your house was covered with poop. :) Which for everyone reading IT IS NOT :)
Post a Comment