Here's a dilemma...

So my BFF Liza shared a secret with me. A pretty major secret. A BFF type of secret. I will not display her secret here. However, it then prompted me to share a secret with her. In a roundabout way.

I feel so exposed. Which is ridiculous. Liza knows all of my innermost everything. I watched her child being born. I've seen her vagina!! I mean, who is closer to me? No one.

So why do I feel so scared and exposed and nervous? Why don't I want her to read what I wrote until I leave her house?

I think that I never really relax around anyone. I relax the most around her...but I still guard myself a bit from her. I completely tore that down. So I am now not keeping ANYTHING from her.

Whew, so there. I feel better getting that out. Now....we'll see what she says to what I wrote.

He's been redeemed

I woke up this morning and checked my phone. I received a picture that made me so horny I couldn't take take it. More so than my BFF's picture (ok, her pic didn't make me horny, but if I were into that, it would have.) But this pic got my juices flowing.



That's right, Liza's DH, Wee Wee, sent me a picture to tantalize my pee pee buds.

Excuse me, I have to spend a few moments in the bathroom.

That's why we are BFF's

So last night I went over to Liza's to prepare for our garage sale. Now most of you will remember that Liza is my BFF. We are twin souls.

Anyhow, after hours of pricing stuff, Liza was finished with her stuff and was helping me price mine. We were going through boxes of clothes and started getting slap happy. Everything became funny to us, and we were giggling and snorting.

We came across a hand me down someone had given to my daughter. The size was 3T. It was a yellow shirt that had a partly opened back.

Amid snorts, Liza said "I bet I can get this on". I said, OMG, ok- but you have to put it on backwards, so that you look like an 80's porn star.

So she did it. She put it on. This is what it looked like:




Amazingly hot right? So I said - go upstairs and show your DH. So she runs up stairs and saunters into the living room and hears: "What the hell is that?"

WOW - BUZZ KILL

What the heck is wrong with him? An appropriate response would be "Get in the bedroom now", or "Oh honey - that's hot".

At least it's not only my man that's an idiot.

BTW, when I grow up, I want to have boobs like Liza's.