No, I'm not busy

Here is a cold hard truth. I don't much care for my nephews. There I said it. It's out there. Now that that is out there.

I told my DH on Sunday, that I WAS NOT allowing my nephew to come home with me on Monday.

Then my SIL calls me and gives me some cockamamey story about how she can't take him with her to wrestling because she has to fill out papers, blah blah blah.

So I, being a good SIL, say, sure, bring him down. I glance frantically at the clock. It's only 5:30 - she won't be home until 8 or 8:30. Ugh....at least 3 hours of that hellion. Too long to lock him in the dog cage, besides, I think he's bored with playing "bad doggie".

It's not that I don't like kids. I do. I love mine. But it seems like my nephew irks the SHIT out of me.

I can handle him for about an hour. Then I just want to start throwing things. Or starting throwing up, or something.

My daughter LOOOOVVVVVEEESSS her cousin. They play together for most of the day (because my SIL watches my kids). Even after spending hours together, she will ask if he can come over when I come home. Most of the time I'm able to say no, because I have other things to do. But sometimes I have to watch him because my BIL is working, and my SIL has to take the older heathen to wrestling.

First of all, he is destructive. Every single freakin time he comes over, he breaks something.

GRRRR!! Since he does it out of my sight, then blames it on my 1 year old son, I have to punish both him AND my daughter. They just sit and giggle throughout time out.

Also, he's a year older then my daughter (that makes him 4) and he doesn't speak as well as my daughter. Which REALLY makes me grit my teeth. And when I explain something to him, he just looks at me with this kinda blank look and says "yeah" to everything I say.

In this example, he is CFH (Child from Hell):

Me: CFH, did you break that sword?

CFH: No.

Me: Ok, Daughter, did you break this sword?

Daughter: No mommy, CFH did.

Me: CFH, Daughter said that you did. Now tell me the truth, did you break this sword?

CFH: Son did (Note, not a complete sentance)

Me: CFH, Son is a baby, he doesn't have enough strength to break this sword. I'm going to ask you one more time, and I want the truth, DID YOU BREAK THIS SWORD?????

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

Me: We don't break toys in this house, understand?

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

Me: Now you will sit in time out for 4 minutes for breaking that toy and telling me a lie.

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

Me: CFH, do you want me to beat you with a ball bat?

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

I HATE THAT!! It makes me feel like I'm dealing with a mentally challenged child. Which he IS NOT!!

But I put on my "good and responsible" aunt hat, and try to teach him normality, and the proper way to act.

And when that fails I beat him with a ball bat - hard.