Is anybody out there???

Did anyone miss me? I mean, I was gone for appx. 2 weeks. Surely that has impacted someone’s life. Ok, maybe not.

The Holidays went as well as can be expected. The only major drama I had was that I thought my purse was stolen. Ok, lost. Whatever. Here I had put it on the end of my daughter’s bed when I carried her in from the car. Ok, only a slight anxiety attack. I can handle that.

Now, to focus on 2008. I need to have some goals. I’ll post my sexual ones on my other blog. This is the clean one.

1. Beat my children more. Seriously, a lot more. When I say stop hitting me, I mean it. We don’t hit in this family, damnit

2. Beat my dog more. Seriously, when I say stay in the kitchen, I mean, stay in the fucking kitchen.

3. Nap more. When I say that I want to take a nap, I mean it. I don’t mean I want to lay down, then get up every 15 minutes to fill a sippy cup, or stop a child from sticking his toys in the electrical socket. Sheesh…can I have an hour for myself?

4. Sweep my kitchen floor more often. It’s pretty bad when the dog won’t even lay down on it.

5. Get up earlier. Honestly, do I need to hit the snooze 6 times?? Nooo..just set my alarm clock for later.. Wait then I won’t be…ok, nevermind.

6. Try to stand up for myself, without coming across as a total bitch. This includes no dirty looks, no snorts when someone talks, no sighing, and no stony silences.

That’s all I can think of right now. Anyone else have any suggestions?