Have you been swimming?

Ok, so got our well repaired last week. It’s only been broken for about 1 year or so. Some idiot guy that used to be our neighbor backed into it and said nothing but, "Hey, I just busted your well."

But hey, it still pumped water in, so we just kinda lived with it. We called the well people, but they were booked solid for several months, so we got on a waiting list. Apparently Christmas is a slow time for well people because they very nicely came out and fixed our well.

What I didn’t realize when I got home was that not only did they fix it, but they treated it as well. For those of you that aren't familiar with the highly technical aspects of well treating it goes kinda like this:

Open 7-10 jugs of Chlorine Bleach
Open top of well
Dump all jugs of Chorine into well
Close top of well

It is the homeowners responsiblity to then run the water out of all of the faucets in the house for a good 1/2 hour to an hour.

But remember, I didn't know that they treated the well.

So I come home from work, and make my daily pitcher of kool aid for my heathens children. Suddenly, I start smelling Chlorine bleach. I’m standing at my sink, looking around my kitchen, wondering if DH had cleaned something with bleach (as if!!). I don't notice any white streaks on anything, or any spills on the floor. Hmmmm...

I start picking up my dishes to see if my dishwashing detergent has a hint of bleach in it. No, none of my dishes smell like bleach..hmmmm..

I look under my sink to see if my bleach has someone been opened by mice, or maybe cleaning fairies really exist!!

Nope, nothing to it under the sink either.

Damn...where is that smell coming from....oh well,I'll just add the sugar to the koolaid and start stirring...

That's when it hits me...OMG!!!! I could have killed my kids!!!

The bleach is coming from my faucets!!!! Jeeeessssuuuuusss H. Crimeny.......

So after I dump the kool aid out,(damn it, I just wasted precious sugar) I ask my DH if he had known about the well treatment.

No...is that what that bleach smell is??

Ummm Yeah.

So, I run the water for awhile, and promptly forget about it.

My daughter mentions that she wants a bath. Ok, cool. I run back, turn on the water, and then go about the house collecting dirty clothes to throw into the washer while the kids bathe...

"MOM....MOOOOMMMM...MY EYES ARE BURNING!!"

OMFG!! I FORGOT ABOUT RUNNING THE BATHROOM FAUCET. I run back to make sure my daughters face isn't dripping off the bones (in my mind bleach is a lot like acid). Here her face wasn't even wet, but the bleach in the air stung my eyes as I walked in.

So amidst angry tears at not getting a bath, I drain the bathwater...

Anyhow, it's over a week now, and while we are able to bath and drink as normal, there's still a "tinge" of bleach.

Which is why every day someone will ask me, "Have you been swimming?"

I'm gonna bust your....

Ok, ok, I know I haven't blogged in awhile. I have valid reasons. Honest.

My other admin was out, so I actually had a full day of work to do...and then some.

My step mother has started chemo, and I have been given the blessing of taking her to all of her doctor's appointments. Because, well, she is estranged from her son, one of my sister's lives out of state and the other one has a week old baby, plus 3 other kids to take care of.

Sigh, so there....that's reason enough.

But I do have a cute story to share.

As most of you know, I have 3 dogs. I have 2 Rottweilers who are mostly outside dogs, and I have 1 Amstaff Terrier that is totally inside. She is the baby.

Anyhow, if it gets really cold outside, we bring the rotties in. But we have to barricade them in the kitchen, because they both have a leakage problem due to being fixed. Just urine, but I'm not having them leak onto my carpet.

Ok, so anyhow, we make up a barricade using my card table and computer chair, so that we can easily get in and out of the kitchen, but they can't easily get into the living room.

My lovely little children ran into the card table while playing and knocked it down. Well I was in the middle of cooking dinner, so I didn't rush over to put it back up.

I then catch a movement out of the corner of my ass. My children are using my card table as a running/sliding thing!!

The first thing I thought was, damnit they are going to break my table!!! Then what will be cut deer up on???? Hmmmm? Did they think of that as they were jumping and running and sliding??? HMMMMM?

My next thought was, I can just picture one of them falling off of it, and busting their head open. (I'm a pretty laid back mom, but I do like to try to prevent trips to the hospital.)

I realize that I must impress the importance of safety upon them.

So I say in a stern Mommy voice: "Prince and Princess, if you break my table, I'm going to break your butt"

Brilliant, I think!! I make a threat to physically hurt them, so that they feel compelled to be safe, and not hurt themselves.

Then I hear Princess whispering to Prince, "If she breaks our butt, we don't have another one. How will we poop without a butt?"

Then to me she says: "Mom, how are we supposed to poop if you break our butts?"

I breath a deep sigh like breath and clench my teeth. Then I release the tension and turn to look at her and the boy.

"Keep playing on that, and you'll find out, you hear me?"

There, that'll show her!!

Today is a bad day.

Serious money problems.

The other admin. is not here today so I am overwhelmed here at work.

My step mom is having a nervous breakdown, and I'm the only child close enough to go comfort her.

My youngest sister is considering selling her eggs.

My middle other sister is going to have a baby on Thursday, and requested that I drive down to the hospital each day that she is there and also to her home after she gets home. Just to check on her. Considering it's an hour drive each way, not including the 25 mins. to pick up my kids first....

I'm overwhelmed.

Rudolph is on tonight!!

Yep, the ol' claymation is rearing it's yearly head.

I haven't watched these since I was a kid. It seems kinda odd that I haven't watched them. I mean, they are classics.

But I prefer CSI. But I think a CSI done in claymation would be silly, and would never reach the status of a classic.

But now I have wee ones, and I get to introduce them to the wonder of these beauties.

Good thing I have DVR, or they would have to miss this memory in order for me to watch whatever is on tonight.

We'll see if they sit and watch it for the full duration....

Freaky Friday

Check out my post on my other blog.

Random Thought

I don't really have an exciting topic to blog about today. My mind is scattered this week.

But I did have an epiphany. A few of my work collegues were discussing the gas prices. The other girl here said we were going to have to start showing our legs and hitchhiking to work.

I said, No, then I'd have to shave my legs every day. I'd rather just show my tits.


Hmmmmmm, wonder what they think of me now?

Because I'm Lazy

Born in: Canton, Ohio

Raised in: Various Cities, Ohio

Planned baby: If you count sex at a church weiner roast, then yes

Birth date: April 24

Youngest or oldest: oldest

Hair length: Which hair???

Eye color: Blue

Mood: tired

Height: 5'5"

Lefty/Righty: righty

LOVE LIFE:

Do you remember your first real relationship? With anger

Shortest relationship: Do one night stands count?

Have you ever been heartbroken? yes

Have you ever fallen for a friend? yes i have............

Are you afraid of commitment? Only to mortgages...

Do you believe in love at first sight? Lust yes, love, no


THIS OR THAT:

Love or money: This time I married for Love, next time it's for money

One night stands or relationships: One night stands

TV or internet: Both, at the same time (I'm such a tramp)

Pepsi or coke: Diet please

Wild night out or romantic night in: what's romance?

Phone or in person: Sex

HAVE YOU EVER:

Have you ever been caught having sex?: Yup!! Lotsa times

Have you ever skinny dipped?: Yup

Have you ever finished a novel in a day? Yep

Have you ever been streaking? Yep - it was an initiation rite for a group I belong to

Have you ever fallen in public? Yep, while carrying my child in her carseat....and no one offered to help, or to see if me or my baby was ok.


ARE YOU:

Are you a silly person?: Nope, always straighlaced

Are your parents still married? Nope


OTHER:

How do you dress? I prefer to wear sexy nighties, but the people at Walmart look at me funny

Are you scared of growing up old and alone? One can only dream.....

WTF?

So, since I've been classified as "borderline diabetic" (whatever that means) I've been trying to lose some weight.

Have I been doing anything differently? No.

Have I been working out? No.

Isn't that great? Aren't you proud of me?

I've gained 4 freakin lbs in the last month or so. GAINED!! Not lost.

Ok, so this morning I've decided to track what I eat, to shame me into eating less.

Also, I'm going to take pictures of myself in my underwear to try to motivate me. Or help me puke after meals. Either way, win/win.

A random fact about me

I have to go to Discount Drug Mart (DDM) at least once a week. I have been doing this for the last 3 and 1/2 years. Most weeks I go to DDM, then also to a grocery store.

I spend roughly $50-$60 at DDM and $100 at the grocery store. Unless I missed the grocery store. On the week I skip the grocery store, I spend about $100 at DDM, and then the following week I spend about $150-$200 at the grocery store.

I know what you are all thinking...what the HELL are you spending so much money on?

Well here are things that I HAVE to have each week:

1) Diapers- appx. $9.99 for 34 diapers. Some weeks I have to buy 2 packs - 1 for my house, 1 for the sitter.

2) Wipes - appx. $6.99 - again, 1 for my house, 1 for the sitter. Sometimes I can skip a week on this item.

3) Kool-Aid - 7 packs for $2.00

4) Cereal - Roughly $1.99 per box - Generic DDM brand

5) Bread - $1.49 per loaf - 2 loafs per week.

6) Milk - $2.49-$3.99 per gal.

7) Dog food - $7.99 per 40lb bag - 1 bag lasts appx. 1 week.

8) Laundry Detergent - this is an every other week thing - $3.99, if I get it on sale

9) Sugar - I have no idea the price on this one, but I buy one every week, because we make so much tea and koolaid

Those are just my basic "must haves".

Then I make out my menu's for the following week, and buy whatever ingredients I need for those meals. I like to try new meals at least 4 times a week, and only try to eat out once a week at most.

So does everyone else do this, or am I putting more work into this than I should?

A day off

So I had to take yesterday off work, because my sitter had a serious doctors appointment, and my back up had already made plans.

When I told the daughter that I wasn't going to work, she said, Thank you Mama, thank you for spending the day with me. Sometimes she's so sweet that I almost regret beating her. (Trust me, she deserves it)

We had a pretty good day, topping it off by going to the library, where the son decided to hide from me, and piss off the librarians by running behind the checkout counter. I got A LOT of very hateful stares.

Fuck em I say. That was probably the most excitement they've had all day, chasing my little lovely around while he dodged and weaved like a pro.

It's kinda difficult to run with books in your arms. And I got a lot of dirty stares when I yelled to a perfect stranger, "Catch that little bastard" Oh, but he loves my pet names for him...

Then we went to Pamida to shop for outfits for picture day. They had ZERO dress up outfits.

WTF, I mean, they have every other christmas thing out, why not outfits????

So after teaching my daughter to say, stupid fucking Pamida, we went home.

The craziness starts tomorrow, so I probably won't post until next week. I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving.

It's Picture Time!

The kids get pictures taken this Friday at Sears.

I'm so on top of things as a mom that I don't even have outfits for them yet.

Would it be in bad taste to have them get their pics in their play clothes?

If I wanted the picture to be true to life, I would have it taken in underwear and diaper, as this is what they prefer to wear.

Actually, they prefer to be completely naked, but the girl likes to touch herself if she's naked, and the boy doesn't know the meaning of the word "control" yet. So I allow minimal naked time.

So what do I do when I'm down to the wire? I call my mommy. See, my mommy shops - ALOT. And she LUUURRRVVEEESSS to brag about what she buys for the kids.

So I figure I let her know that I don't have an outfit yet, and PRESTO, like magic, she'll show up with one.

Well, at least she does for my sister's kids. I'm going to see if that works for me too.

So far, so good

Well I started out my monday morning learning that I actually won something!! Yippee!! One of my daily reads, Simplifying Motherhood gives away books. You can enter by commenting on the blogs. Which I did.

I'm so excited to get the book. I love to read.

The grass is always greener....

DH had a small melt down last night. I've had the same meltdown several times, so I know how he's feeling.

Sometimes, on our path we've chosen to walk together, it seems like we keep running into steep hills, and walls and seemingly dead ends, and all kinda of obstacles.

It seems like we struggle and struggle to be good parents, and have low debt, and scrimp and save, and we both work hard, with him working 60+ hours most weeks, but we never get ahead.

Most of our friends live in fabulous houses, with fabulous cars, and wear the latest clothes, and go on shopping sprees etc.

We live in a single tube, the newest vehicle we own is an 04 and the transmission light is on in it.

The last "shopping spree" I went on was for a bra because the only ones that fit me were nursing bras and I haven't nursed for over a year.

I'd say 98% of my clothes are hand me downs from people who have either gained or lost weight.

Wow, I'm depressing myself just reading this.

But like I told him last night when he was bitchin about never getting ahead, and never having it easy:

We have a GREAT marriage, a pretty good sex life that keeps getting better, fabulous healthy children, a warm place to sleep at night, and full bellies.

Nothing else matters.

Except that Princess Set I want to get for the daughter for christmas....

Quiz Thing

Here is an e-mail between my sister and myself this morning:

This was my answers regarding her:



Body: So You Think You Know Me...
(2 Points) My name: Dear
(4 Points) My last name: Sister
(4 Points) Who am I in love with: Yourself (Ha Ha) – I guess Prasanna
(1 Points) Where did we meet: Ummm..at the hospital I’m guessing
(6 Points) Take a stab at my middle name: I dunno – Dork? (the correct one)
(1 Points) Where do I work: Some Indian place helping people come into this country
(3 Point) What am I afraid of: Poverty?
(2 Points) Do I smoke : Only weed
(3 Points) Do I drink: Only on days that end in Y
(3 points) Do you think Im a virgin: Ha Ha Ha…I’m still laughing over that one.
(1 Point) Do I have any siblings: Nope, only child
(2 Points) How many: I said you were an only child, that means 0 siblings
(2 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do: Have sex?
(1 Point) How many piercings do I have: 5, 2 in each ear and one in your nose (unless you have one in your cha cha that I don’t know about)
(4 Points) How many tattoos do I have: None (loser)
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music: You prefer classical, but will listen to Folk if you have to
(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing: Very very shy. We’re working on getting you to open up and share a little bit
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: Total Rebel -
(2 Points) Whats my favorite color: Ummm…fushia? (Green)
(3 Points) Name something I hate: Me?
(4 Points) Name a talent I have: Playing the skin flute
(4 Points) Whats my phone number: 666-666-6666
(4 Points) What kind of sneakers do I wear: Hooker Boots
(4 Points) Do I have any pets: A Monkey (in your pants) Ha Ha
(2 Points) Who am I dating/likeing right now: A terrorist (according to our Dad and Step Dad)
(5 Points) How long have I been dating/liking them: A few years now
(5 Points) What is my worst habit: Breathing
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring: A Vibrator, books, food and a huge supply of batteries (oh wait, that’s me) A phone, food and TV

Now here is her response to me:

Body: So You Think You Know Me...
(2 Points) My name: Countess
(4 Points) My last name: B Formally know as *****
(4 Points) Who am I in love with: Yourself!! Ok maybe DH too
(1 Points) Where did we meet: mmmm good question…at a bar
(6 Points) Take a stab at my middle name: Ann (I actually had to think about that one)
(1 Points) Where do I work: *******
(3 Point) What am I afraid of: Paying Bills LOL
(2 Points) Do I smoke : Yeah like a chimney
(3 Points) Do I drink: Only on days that end in Y
(3 points) Do you think Im a virgin: Yep some how you birthed two kids and remained a virgin (you must be Mary).
(1 Point) Do I have any siblings: Not sure you are adopted
(2 Points) How many: Not sure …we picked you up on the side of the road
(2 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do: touch yourself
(1 Point) How many piercings do I have: 3 piercings (b/c your too scared to get one on your cha cha)
(4 Points) How many tattoos do I have: 4 (unless you have one on your butt)
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music: Books on CD
(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing: Biotchy
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: You don’t know what rules are!!
(2 Points) Whats my favorite color: Blue
(3 Points) Name something I hate: non-smokers
(4 Points) Name a talent I have: being hateful
(4 Points) Whats my phone number: 333-333-3333 (that is the son of Satan b/c you are below me LOL)
(4 Points) What kind of sneakers do I wear: Wal-Mart brand
(4 Points) Do I have any pets: 3 Dogs
(2 Points) Who am I dating/likeing right now: A biker Trucker guy (I hope DH doesn’t find out)
(5 Points) How long have I been dating/liking them: I don’t know like 6 I think
(5 Points) What is my worst habit: Reading
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring: well you already answered that one A Vibrator, books, food and a huge supply of batteries



I love my sister - she knows me so well.

No, I'm not busy

Here is a cold hard truth. I don't much care for my nephews. There I said it. It's out there. Now that that is out there.

I told my DH on Sunday, that I WAS NOT allowing my nephew to come home with me on Monday.

Then my SIL calls me and gives me some cockamamey story about how she can't take him with her to wrestling because she has to fill out papers, blah blah blah.

So I, being a good SIL, say, sure, bring him down. I glance frantically at the clock. It's only 5:30 - she won't be home until 8 or 8:30. Ugh....at least 3 hours of that hellion. Too long to lock him in the dog cage, besides, I think he's bored with playing "bad doggie".

It's not that I don't like kids. I do. I love mine. But it seems like my nephew irks the SHIT out of me.

I can handle him for about an hour. Then I just want to start throwing things. Or starting throwing up, or something.

My daughter LOOOOVVVVVEEESSS her cousin. They play together for most of the day (because my SIL watches my kids). Even after spending hours together, she will ask if he can come over when I come home. Most of the time I'm able to say no, because I have other things to do. But sometimes I have to watch him because my BIL is working, and my SIL has to take the older heathen to wrestling.

First of all, he is destructive. Every single freakin time he comes over, he breaks something.

GRRRR!! Since he does it out of my sight, then blames it on my 1 year old son, I have to punish both him AND my daughter. They just sit and giggle throughout time out.

Also, he's a year older then my daughter (that makes him 4) and he doesn't speak as well as my daughter. Which REALLY makes me grit my teeth. And when I explain something to him, he just looks at me with this kinda blank look and says "yeah" to everything I say.

In this example, he is CFH (Child from Hell):

Me: CFH, did you break that sword?

CFH: No.

Me: Ok, Daughter, did you break this sword?

Daughter: No mommy, CFH did.

Me: CFH, Daughter said that you did. Now tell me the truth, did you break this sword?

CFH: Son did (Note, not a complete sentance)

Me: CFH, Son is a baby, he doesn't have enough strength to break this sword. I'm going to ask you one more time, and I want the truth, DID YOU BREAK THIS SWORD?????

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

Me: We don't break toys in this house, understand?

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

Me: Now you will sit in time out for 4 minutes for breaking that toy and telling me a lie.

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

Me: CFH, do you want me to beat you with a ball bat?

CFH: (with that blank, annoying look on his face, and a careless smile) Yeah

I HATE THAT!! It makes me feel like I'm dealing with a mentally challenged child. Which he IS NOT!!

But I put on my "good and responsible" aunt hat, and try to teach him normality, and the proper way to act.

And when that fails I beat him with a ball bat - hard.

LOOK AT ME, DAMNIT!

I think I'm an attention whore. Or something.

Let me go back a bit. I used to be a total goody goody. I think I've mentioned this before, or maybe I mentioned it here. I've never done any drugs, didn't drink until I was out of high school, didn't have sex until I was 17. I've only had 3 sexual partners, the third and last being my DH.

I was even given the nickname of Queen of the Goody Goodies, being shortened to Queenie, which people still call me to this day.

Now it's a little different.

I won't go into exactly why, but I'll get to the point of my post.

First of all, I work in a somewhat conservitive type job. I've always worked in an office. I've always had (and still have) an upmost professional appearance and demeanor. People tease me about my message on my cell phone, and how I answer my phone at home.

However, I'm addicted to tatoos. Guys that have tatoos make me hot. Ok, girls that have them make me hot too.

I love them on myself. I love looking at them. I love getting them.

I only have 3, but I want more. I plan for them, and they all symbolize something in my life.

But this weekend, I pierced my nose. WHA!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?

I have always loved my sisters nose piercing, but never thought I'd do it to myself. But DH was getting his second sitting on his tatoo and he was like - "just go do it"

First of all, it hurt like a mutha (I always wanted to say mutha). Second, it's done by hand.

The needle they use is HUGE. At least 2 1/2 inches long.

They shove a tube up your nose because they have to push the needle all the way through, and they need to have something in there to catch it.

Now that Avitable (whom I imagined naked to take my mind from the pain) showed me how to post pics, I'll post some on here to show my tats and my piercings.

THEN - NO WAIT THERE'S MORE - THEN I WENT AND DIED MY HAIR BLACK.

Everyone says I look Goth. That's not the look I was going for.

The moral of the story is, I like to shock people. I like people to pay attention to me.

And I'm tired of showing my tits.

What to talk about???

So I don't know what to talk about today.

The beads that have GHB? (Good thing they weren't anal)

That I'm having a bonding day tomorrow with my mom and my sisters? (Pedicures, Sushi, Hair Styleing Galore)

That I'm going to have my sister take a picture of my breasts so that I can remember when they were perky? (Ok, they are only perky when they are in a bra, so they will be in a bra in the picture)

That I really need to focus on losing weight, you know, not eat whatever the hell I want? (I can say that when I'm not hungry, ask me again in a few hours and Satan will growl "I'll eat whatever the hell I want" from somewhere deep inside me.)

That I found grey hairs this morning? (I think they are blonde, but no one else does)

That I look great today, and no one has noticed? (Umm, hello assholes, a little bit of compliments goes a long way)

That all the guys here reassure me that I'll look like shit for dyeing my hair dark? (Fuck them, I don't care. I want something DIFFERENT, and I was told I'd lose my job if I pierced my nose. Now piercing my tongue is ok....guess my boss is still hoping for a below desk blow job)

That I need someone to tell me how to post pictures to my profile, and to the blog, because I'm HTML/Blogger/Internet retarded? ('Nuff said)

The Basics

So, I don't know blog etiquette. I don't even know how to spell etiquette.

For instance, I read the blogs on the left daily. I'm afraid to leave a comment. I mean, I think I'm totally different from their "usual" readers, and I'm afraid my comments will seem trite, or dumb, or worse yet, naive.

There are a few blogs that I actually feel comfortable enough to leave a comment. But, as I'm sure they will tell you, I need more practice on being witty.


I used to be funny, back before I had kids and before "the comments". I'm constantly told that I'm TOO outspoken, and I say things I shouldn't. So I've been trying to change that about myself, but people don't seem as drawn to me anymore.

Hmmmmm...maybe I should tell those people that told me to moderate myself to GO FUCK THEMSELVES!!!

Woo Hooo...I was able to incorporate the F bomb into a post - GO ME!

I'm such a dork.....

This is going to see really, really, well, dorkish.

Diesel commented on one of my posts. It made me laugh.

Then I was on cloud nine, because someone that I read daily commented on my blog.

I get this same feeling when Sornie comments.

I want to ask for their autograph. I want to show everyone, look, look who commented.

And I'm not a star chaser, or whatever you want to call it. I'd like to think I don't fall into that hype.

But I did have a friend that dated a local radio station DJ, and I felt famous hanging out with him, and telling people that he was part of my "circle".

I must have low self esteem.

Living on a wooded, secluded 5 acres, in a small town is starting to get to me. I should consider moving to the city.

Ok, this post was lame,and not funny at all, but I'm still giddy from reading the comment.

Oh yeah, and I had someone tell me today that I was beautiful. That puts me on cloud nine every time!!

If I wasn't having problems with my libido, I'd run to the bathroom to touch myself lightly.

I'll try to post better tomorrow...

Only a slight irritation..

I’ve never said that I’m a good housekeeper. Actually, I think I’ve stated the exact opposite. But you know things are bad when you ask:

Honey, have you seen the stroller?

Now I can see overlooking or misplacing a shirt, keys, papers, diaperbag, cup, toothbrush, purse, hairbrush, glasses, food, dishes, etc. But a stroller??? WOW!! I need some serious re-organization.

And I’ll get right on it. When I have a “free” moment. Wait, free moments are to be spent focusing on me, not on the house or the kids.

So DH knew right where the stroller was (in the shed) and we loaded it, along with 5 bags, to take to GG’s in order to do our last round of trick or treating.

We took Livvie, dressed as a butterfly, and our princess and our dragon. All had a great time, except most of the time you heard this from my DH:

No, Livvie, you can’t go play with that dog.

Heel Livvie, followed by a dry Hhgggk, Hhggkk from her choking from pulling on her lead.

Then, HEEL LIVVIE – I SAID HEEL. – Yeah, she does well on a lead – WHATEVA.

The only thing that pissed me off was when someone asked “Is that a pit pull?” To which my DH gave a quirky smile that answered their question without words. While I am frantically yelling ahead – “No, she’s an Amstaff Terrier”.

Ok, so Amstaff's are a cousin to the Pit Bull. So what? I REFUSE to allow my precious Livvie to be grouped in with monster dogs. She is the best dog we’ve had…and trust me, we’ve had a few.

I just hate that DH is proud of the fact that we have a dreaded "Pit Bull". The same as he is proud that we have 2 Rottweilers. He says that he likes proving people wrong.

It seems like that's the theme of our life - proving people wrong.

Here are a list of things we've proved so far:

That you don't have to wear helmets when you ride a motorcycle
That Rotts and Pitts make great pets
That you CAN save money by heating with wood
That you can beat someone's ass and then have dinner with them the following week
That a woman can ride her own motorcycle
That a goody goody and a biker/trucker can make a marriage last
Kids can eat dogfood and not get sick
Peeing outside IS more hygenic than porta johns
That not all rednecks have broken down cars in the yard
That women CAN have multiple orgasms
That fat women ARE sexy
You can have a fabulous wedding on less than $2,000
That your marriage can survive a threesome

Ok, I made up that threesome part. Even though it's a fantasy, we haven't lived it, and probably never will. But it's fun to think about, isn't it!!

So, maybe tonight I’ll get to start on that whole organizing thing. Right after I do dishes, cook supper, and occupy my kids because DH is out of town – AGAIN.

Sometimes I hate being a married, yet single mother.

Whateva

So, when I go home at night, I always come up with great blog topics...and I'll write the blog in my head as I clean up and beat discipline my children. Then, when I get time to sit down and actually write something, I'm blank.

I think it may have to do with the fact that I always sit down AFTER I've taken my meds. They put me on an even keel where nothing bothers me.

Where's the drama, where's the irritability? That makes for good blogs. If everything is coming up tulips, what is there to write about?

We are taking the kids trick or treating one last time tonight. This will be their third trip. We go so many times, not for the candy - Lord knows my fat ass doesn't need it, but to allow all grandmas to see the kids in their costumes.

And trust me, the kids are NOT dressing up for no reason. They want a reward, darn it. So tonight they will don, once again, the princess costume, and the dragon costume. And I will listen to everyone ooo and ahh over have fabulous my children are. Sigh...my kids are so damn cute!

We are also dressing up one of our dogs, Olivia. She will be a butterfly. She hates the costume. But we are her parents, and we decide everything in her life. So she can get over herself, and if she tries to chew her costume I'll beat discipline her.

So there, there's a nice boring post for ya. But no one reads this anyhow, so it's all for me.

I should comment on myself to make myself feel important....

Notes to Self...

1) When preparing for shopping trip with children to Walmart, make sure to take Meds, as to eliminate panic attacks.

2) Do not give Young Master S his apple juice box in his car seat, as he ALWAYS takes out the straw and dumps it on himself.

3) Do not sit near the toy/play area in McDonalds, as the children will not eat, but will consistantly ask to go play.

4) Remember to buckle young Master S into the cart, as he has figured out how to stand up in the front seat compartment.

5) Do not EVER think of going into Walmart around a holiday EVER AGAIN.

6) Remember your mantra, Walmart is Satan's store, and no good comes of cavorting with Satan.

7) Pumpkin seeds ARE choking hazards, and do not allow Young Master S anywhere near them.

8) Princess K is old enough to pay attention to what is going on during television shows. No more Law and Order while she is around.

9) Make sure to educate Princess K that Indians are not mean, and they do not wait in the woods to attack you.

10) Make sure to eductate Princess K that there are no wolves in our woods, and they couldn't get past the dogs if there were - just there there are no wolves. Period.

11) Keep valium on hand for above such days...

Money Talks

We all have money problems. That's no secret. What is considered hard times for me, may be easy street for you, or vice versa.

My DH and I do a pretty good job of providing for our family.

It's can be very non-rewarding, with the bulk of our friends/acquaintences buying new homes, new vehicles, new TV's, etc. My DH feels a pressure to "keep up with the Jones".

I, for one, am happy with less. Don't get me wrong, I want a home, but it doesn't have to be grandiose. I just want a lot of room so that I can hide from my kids.

I don't have to have the newest car, I just want something that I don't have to worry about it breaking down. I have that right now. Ok, Ok...I'll admit, I would like something bigger, like a mini-van. We can't bring anyone with us when we go somewhere, as there is no room between the carseats.

Regarding a new TV, well, honestly I can do without. Don't get me wrong, I would miss it, but man would I get a lot done around the house if I was bored all the time. I get sucked into to watching at least 2-3 shows a night, and I don't do ANYTHING during these shows. Except sit on my fat ass, and get my kids snacks and drinks. That's it. I'm surprised my brain isn't as mushy as my ass.

All I ask, Lord, is that I have enough money to pay my bills, feed my kids, get a new outfit every once in while, and have a date night once a month.

So please, let my DH pick up that new account he's working on. Help me to be more understanding when he's working late, or working on something around the house, and I only get to see him for about 1 hour a night.

I'm sure I'll be posting a bitching blog about how I want to be the one bringing in the extra money, but I CAN'T because I'd have to pay a babysitter to watch the kids, which would decrease the amount of money I bring in, because my DH can't guarantee to be home every night....

Ok...enough.....

I am blessed, and I hope that you are blessed as well.

So, is it because he's a redneck or......

So every single morning, during the week, I follow the same routine. I have followed this same routine for the past year. I get up at 5 a.m., get my shower, do my makeup and my hair. Then I pack the diaper bag.

My husband's only job is to get the kids toast and chocolate milk ready, then to get my son up, change his diaper, then load him in the jeep. I then get my daughter up, and get her ready to do to the jeep, and then I load her.

Last week, he was gone all week, so all of the above duties fell to me. No big whoop, I'm getting use to feeling like a single mom most of the time.

But he was home this morning. When I got out of the shower, and got dressed, I came out into the living room, to see my husband, fully dressed, and snoozing on the chair. No breakfast has been made, no chocolate milk has been poured, etc.

So I, instantly furious, ask WTF? Is the diaper bag packed, is the milk poured...

He looked at me and said, well, you didn't lay the cups out for me...and I didn't know.....

UMMMMM.....HELLO?????? Is he a part of this family? Has he lived with us for the last year???

NOTHING HAS CHANGED. Nothing. So is it because he is lazy? Is it because he's a redneck, and just assumes that I, YES I, BECAUSE I HAVE A VAGINA, will do everything????

Uggghhhh....and he wonders why I have to take anxiety and depression medication

Couture stuns MMA world with retirement

Yep, I guess it's a fact. Randy Couture is done fighting. Well that just pisses me right off. I've been bragging him up. Now he just pisses out.

I understand, he has movie offers, and his whole T-Shirt thing, and TV Offers etc. etc. But geeze, does he have to be so selfish? All just because he couldn't fight one stupid guy?

He'll probably fight that guy on another circuit. That's why he cut all ties with UFC. I guess he won't be cornering anyone either.

So I guess the question is.....who gets the belt?

Lay down, it's still sleepy sleep time....

Last night was a real winner. My son, The Viscount, whom I'll call DS, is 1 and 1/2 must be cutting teeth. He woke up around 1:30 crying for me. So into the bed he goes with me and Daddy. Then my lovely DH leaves for work around 3:30, and my daughter must have heard them. So in comes my little Viscountess, whom I'll call DD.

I tell her to be quiet, that brother was already in bed. He's sleeping somewhat in the middle on his stomach. As I lay the daughter down, he pops his head up like a groundhog. My DD grins at him and says HI, BROTHER!! Like it's 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I tell them both that it's still early in the morning, and it's still ni night time. Time for Sleepy Sleep.

Which is totally disregarded as they start chattering to each other. I more firmly remind them that IT'S SLEEPY SLEEP TIME!

To which they respond by whispering their chattering. I try to just go to sleep while they whisper, but then the giggling begins.

OK, WHO WANTS TO GET BACK INTO THEIR OWN BED??? No one? Well then, I suggest you both close your eyes and GOT BACK TO SLEEPY SLEEP.

Finally they take the hint, and I'm able to get about 40 minutes more shut eye.

So I think it's going to be real interesting when they are 15 and are doing the same thing.....